


Fly

by righteousassbutt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Misha Collins, Community: deancasbigbang, DeanCas - Freeform, Death, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Sex, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Human Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, Mechanic Dean, References to Supernatural (TV), Romance, Sabriel - Freeform, Sad, Sad Ending, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Top Jensen Ackles, Tragic Romance, Young Love, dance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:01:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6356236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/righteousassbutt/pseuds/righteousassbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What seems to be a start of a peaceful spring term, somewhat takes a turn when Castiel is introduced with a daunting task. Teaching Dean Winchester, his sister’s new dancing partner, to learn how to dance. Will Cas succeed in his mission? Or will this all end with a fall? Both of them falling for each other. During the time they have spent together fruitful and affectionate love start to blossom as the summer’s heat causes them to finally bloom. With one obstacle coming after the other, will Dean and Castiel be able to dance through autumn’s rainy days and winter’s hash winds and extreme cold? Or will they lose one another during their fight with whatever life throws at them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Author's Notice

**The following work which is produced is merely a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents is a product of my imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, is entirely coincidental and is not intended to offend anyone or the subjects in which they have been adapted to particular circumstances in this story.**

 

I've been aspiring to write a story for a while now and I just hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	2. Chapter 2

**We don't meet people by accident.**

**They're are meant to cross our path for a reason.**

\- **Unknown**

 

 

The month of May's weather is the kind that feels like a kiss of summer without the fiery heat of noon time in August. The grass is a soft green that almost has a hint of blue and in the sky is enough pristine white clouds to show you how beautiful the sky was, how perfect. Castiel observed from the scenery before him, adjusting his back against the largest and oldest tree in the abandoned park near the university campus. Shifting his gaze from the scene to glance down at his watch. It says that it is near noon. Cas came down here at ten, yet somehow his memory of the time is no more than ten minutes, twenty at the most. 

 

With a long exhale he can detect the tell tale signs that his brain is still waking from a nap, there are the vestiges of a dream, turning in nonsensical ways, grasping to remain. Then from nowhere comes an unexpected appearance of his older sister - Sarea. 

 

“Cas! You really need a new hobby than just sleeping in the afternoon and reading books,” she sighed, grasping his hand and forcefully pulled him from his comfortable position against the tree. 

 

Castiel groaned as he reluctantly stood up, before he could respond, he found himself being dragged down the path, heading towards the university. “Haven’t you got practice today?” He questioned the female.

 

“Yes I do and we’re running a few minutes late. I need you to be my partner again, please!” 

 

“I don’t even have much of a choice…” He mumbled as Sarea’s ear perked and asked him to repeat himself much louder- which of course, he didn’t dare.

 

It didn’t take them long until they had reached the dance studio. It was a separate building, which consisted of a grand, vast dancing hall on the ground floor which laid shut behind two big doors. That was the place where the dancers would perform in events, for example: competitions. In the building, there was a spiral stairwell which would lead you to the upper floor. That was the floor where dancers could use it freely as their own space to practice alone or together. 

 

“Sorry I’m late, but I brought our little angel to apologise.” Sarea greeted her fellow dance mates as they made quite an entry, causing all heads to turn their way. 

 

Cas’ eyes scanned the room, it was the usual people - oh, but wait. He had to take a second look to see if he was correct with the analysis. Reanalysing, his eyes laid upon an unknown man. How pellicular. He definitely was a new face. 

 

“Who is that man?” Castiel whispered to Sarea as he stuck close behind her, seeing that his gaze has been caught by the stranger and gave him a particular look. Somewhat playboy-ish. 

 

“Ah… I’ve been meaning to tell you who he is. Come.” She stated as she walked towards the man with Cas right behind her.

 

“Dean, this is my younger brother,” Sarea smiled, moving to the side so that the two may introduce themselves to each other.

 

“Dean, Dean Winchester, nice to meet you…?” Dean left a cue for the other to input his own information and also extended a hand to shake.

 

“Castiel Novak.” He replied simply as he took his own hand and grasped Dean’s, tensing slightly as he felt the strong hold around his hand, which shook his limb a few times before letting go. “Sarea, I thought you said that you needed a partner, but it looks like you already have one here.”

 

The female scratched the crook of her neck with a look upon her face which said ‘Let me explain.’ 

 

“Well, the truth is that I need you to help me choreograph a new dance for the competition. Now that I finally have someone as a partner. Please Cas, please.” Sarea begged. 

 

Summer. The main event as to where dancers are to show off their skill in front of so many people and judges; however, there is a certain chance that amongst the crowd of people are talent seekers and will be recruiting a small amount of dancers - whomever seems to have very good potential - this was what Sarea has been aiming for, ever since coming to this university. She tried every year and it broke Cas’ heart to see her not get picked every time. He couldn’t say no, because he didn’t want to be the one who she hears it from, that it was time to stop. Not this year. Not when she feels overly confident that she will stand out due to the good looks Dean Winchester possessed. Curling the edges of lips slightly, forming a half smile as Cas nodded. “Of course, how could I refuse?” He said rhetorically.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel had danced freely to all the musical choices his sister picked, none of them seemed to fit his own liking. Although, they kept saying each dance was brilliant, Castiel felt like there was something missing. It was just liking cooking. You have to taste it, to see if it needs more seasoning; however Cas couldn’t seem to figure out what the missing ingredient was. 

 

“We need to call it a day, Castiel. Everyone else has already left.” Sarea said as she pressed the button on her phone, displaying the current time. “It’s already nearly 7pm.”

 

Despite his unusual silence, he was awe-struckuned by the way Cas was able to move. Damn. That boy can sure dance. “Um…” Dean started, as he interrupted their conversation.

 

“Oh my god, I’m sorry. You must have been bored, huh?” Sarea turned to the older Winchester and apologised, only to get Dean to shake his head and actually disagree with what she thought.

 

“I found it quite entertaining actually, I have watched Black Swan, twice.” Dean snickered as he fixed his leather jacket collar and moved his gaze to Cas for a moment before refocusing on Sarea. “Let me take you both home, I can give you a ride in my car.” 

 

“Sorry Dean, but I live with our family and Cas lives further away. I rather you take him than me.”

 

“Oh, that isn’t needed-“ Cas was cut off by Dean.

 

“I insist. Gather your things and I’ll take you home.”

 

Sarea chuckled, hopefully Cas will find a friend in Dean. That is why she’s so pushy about giving the two some time alone together. Once they have all packed up and exited the building, the three parted their separate ways. Sarea walking down the opposite path and Dean and Cas towards the car park.

 

Cas was expecting a car, such has a ford or a fiesta, but to his very surprise it was the last car which would ever come to mind. It was a beautiful black, Chevy Impala 1967. Clearly, it is being well taken off. God, a vintage muscle car. That is sure to impress any girl he takes for a ride. As Cas reached for the handle, his hand brushed against Dean’s, both limbs coming into contact with each other. Castiel felt his breathing hitch, almost as if he had stopped breathing for that few seconds. 

 

“Let me.” Dean pursued as he opened the car door for the other, who seemed to have blanked out momentarily. Cas snapped out of his trance as he placed one foot into the vehicle first before lowering his entire body to plop himself on the Impala's passenger seat. Only to have Dean shut it for him before making his was around to the driver's side. 

 

"You've got a nice car..." Cas awkwardly tried to start a conversation.

 

"Thanks, she's my baby, my one and only." Dean smirked, causing a chuckle to escape Cas' lips. "Oh, I finally made the prince laugh." He commented, feeling quite proud of his small achievement. Starting the engine of the Impala.

 

That nickname caused Castiel to chuckle once more before trying to defend his side. "Hey, that's not fair. I've only just met you, it's going to take a while to open up to you fully."

 

"Oh? So you plan to open up to me fully, eh?" Dean wiggled his eyebrows and sniggered. 

 

"Don't be an assbutt and drive." Cas said jokingly.

 

"You know, you're actually very bossy." Dean chuckled as he now focused on the road ahead of them. Following the exact instructions that Cas ordered him to take. It took them a few minutes, but they got there. Cas telling him to stop as he pointed at a certain building. 

 

"Thank you for the ride, Dean. I'll see you at practice tomorrow. Goodnight." Cas bowed slightly as he got out of the car, placing his bag on his right shoulder. Expecting to hear the Impala drive off, Dean parked the vehicle instead and got out too. 

 

Cas' brows met at the centre, more confused as to why Winchester had decided to follow him out. Opening the main door of the apartment building, Dean's presence was still behind him. Up the several flight of stairs he walked, and Dean didn't seem to have an intention of leaving him alone. Cas turned around as he faced him. "Look, Dean. We had a pleasant conversation in the car. You're a nice guy. But I have enough self respect for myself, that I will not give up my body to someone who will only be a one nightstand." 

 

"Cas, I don't know what you're on about. Can't a man be allowed to take the same way as you to get to their own apartment?" Dean questioned, breaking out into small laughter as he got what the other was on about. "I had no intentions of that, seriously, what goes through your mind?" Teasing the dark haired male.

 

Cas felt his face grow warmer, as a shade of pinkish-red tinge coloured his cheeks. Shit sake, Castiel, you're so paranoid and made a wrong accusation! He mentally kicked himself a thousand times as he turned his back towards Dean, making his way to his apartment door. Number 36. His eyes glanced over at the apartment door which was next to his before twisting the key and entered his apartment. 

 

Dean watched the male leave and close his door behind him without a sound coming from his mouth. Uh-oh. He was silent. Silence normally means something bad. Dean knocked on Castiel's door only to get the man to open it very gingerly. 

 

"What?"

 

"C'mon man, I was only teasing you. You seemed so flustered and teasing you a bit more wasn't a smart move, but I couldn't help it. You're cute when you're like that." Dean somewhat said apologetically with an innocent smile, hoping that the other was not mad. "Let me make it up to you - but not in the way you were thin-" Winchester was forced to cut his sentence off as he tried to stop Cas from closing the door on him. Dean jammed his foot in between with his hand pushing against the force which tried to shut it. "Hey, hey! I'm sorry, I'll stop. But let me in, please. I'll give you answers." 

 

"Answers?"

 

"Yeah, answers. To break the ice a bit more, so that I'm not such a stranger." 

 

Cas sighed as he stopped his action against the door, relieving Dean from the pain. "Come in." He stated as he opened the door fully, welcoming him inside. "Can I get you tea or coffee?" He offered as he closed the door once Dean entered. 

 

"I'll have coffee please." He followed Cas into the kitchen area, sitting himself down on a chair at the table. 

 

"Why did you come to this University?" Cas questioned from the other side of the room.

 

"My brother. I have a brother, Sam. He's taking law and I wanted to be a good big brother and support him whilst being close to him. It's only us two now and uncle Bobby. Both of our parents died when we we're young. I practically raised Sammy." 

 

Makes sense. Dean's explanations seem pretty legitimate nor did he seem the type to lie about personal matters.

 

“I see, I’m sorry- that was insensitive of me to ask..”

 

“Don’t worry about it.”

 

"Okay. But you don't go to this university do you?" Cas asked as he brung over their hot beverage.

 

"You're right about that. I work as a mechanic and do all sorts of jobs to make a living. Your sister found me outside the uni, as I saw my brother off- she mistaken me for another student."

 

Cas raised a brow, which practically meant to explain more about the situation with his sister.

 

"Don't give me that look! I have told her that I was a mechanic but it looks like that didn't matter to her."

 

"Did she asked you if you can dance?"

 

"Mmhmm and I said that I can."

 

Cas tried to stop himself from chuckling by placing the curved edge of the mug and sipped his drink. Dean lied through his teeth so that he would seem cool and it also meant that he had dug his own grave by answering yes.

 

This question and answer continued for a while and what looked like an interrogation night, actually turned into a friendly chat. There were exchanges of laughter and smiles. The two kept each other's company until Dean noticed how Cas' eyelids begin to droop and the effort he was making to keep himself awake. By that point, he had bid his new friend goodnight.


	3. Chapter 3

Slowly and reluctantly, Cas uncovered his face from his duvet. He blinked sleepily as he closed his eyes before blinking again. Streaks of sunlight penetrated through the window, which blinded him temporarily. His eyes moved towards the direction of his clock, which was situated on the nightstand. 5:37 am. He gave himself a few more minutes to lay in before he sat up, dragged his feet off the bed, and rubbed his knuckles onto his eyes. Castiel stretched his arms above his head and yawned; watching his legs dangle above the off-white polyester carpet. He had always been an early bird, especially when the sun rises expeditiously during the warmer seasons.

 

He walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen, which was separated from the lounge by the counter. The slight coolness from the wooden floor beneath his bare feet caused a shiver to run down his spinal cord. Grasping the kettle, he opened the lid, moved to the sink and poured some water into it. Placing the object back onto its base as he pushed the small lever on the kettle. Once that was done, he grabbed two slices of bread and slotted them into the two slits in the toaster, also pushing down the lever on the side. Whilst he waited, he got a mug and a small plate from the cupboard and began to pour his preferred coffee amount. For some reason, he turned his head and glanced into the sink. A smile crept onto his lips as he saw the content of it. Two mugs from last night. God, he has been so caught up into the conversation with Dean that he had lost track of time. 

 

The sound of the water finally boiled and the toaster pushing his freshly toasted bread up to the surface broke the memory recollection he was having. Firstly, he poured the boiled water into the mug and then walked a few steps to the fridge to get the milk and poured a bit before returning the carton back in the fridge. He took a teaspoon and placed around two sugars into his beverage and mixed it well. Grabbing the toast and placed it on the place. He sat down at the table and ate alone. Sometimes he would miss his family surrounding him during the morning and wanted some company of his own.

 

Cas was just following his daily routine, just somewhat earlier than usual. After he ate, he took a quick shower. Again checking the time. 6:03 am. “There’ll be enough time..." He muttered to himself as he got changed and done the other necessaries, such as: brush his teeth, fix his hair and prepare all the books and materials he needed for his later lessons.

 

By the time Castiel was able to step out the door was around 6:17 am.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It is a fifteen minute walk to the university from his apartment. To fill the somewhat quietness of walking by himself, Cas stationed an earphone in each ear and placed his music on shuffle. This helped him to drown out the sound of the cars which drove past him at this hour. 

 

6:33 am. 

 

It would have seemed that Cas' legs had managed to bring him to stand in front of the dancing studio building. Creaking the door open  as he entered. No one was here. It was the perfect time to practice before his first class at 8 o’clock. He walked up the flight of spiral stairs and into one of the studios. Castiel placed his stuff aside, removing his jacket and his headphones from his ears and unplugged it from his phone; only to replace his device into the speaker which required it to be plugged in. He had done his warm ups before getting ready to do some free styling to the next song. 

 

_When your legs don't work like they used to before_

 

Cas started in a position called a 'demi plie' (pronounced as Plee-ay). In French means “folded or bent”. In dance it is a bending of the knees done to render the joints and muscles. He then lifted his right arm, circling it around his head once bringing to down to his side gracefully.

 

_And I can't sweep you off of your feet. Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?_

 

He then performed a releve (pronounced as rel-eh-vay). This action required him to rise his body on the balls of his feet, before lowering his heels onto the floor. Next was the move ‘tendu’ (pronounced tahn-dew). Brushing his foot along the floor with the leg straight without lifting the toe.  What followed next after the tendu was ‘dégagé’ (pronounced deh-ga-zheh); sliding his foot rapidly along and slightly off the floor, with the straight leg in preparation for larger leg movements.

 

_And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70. And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23. And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_

 

With the help of the moves tendu and dégagé, Cas can now execute the move called ‘grand battement’, as the whole straight leg is brushed through tendu and dégagé and sent up to a 90 angle, or maybe even just a bit higher than that. The leg which was lifted was then brought back down tot the ground, brushing back through dégagé then tendu.

 

_Maybe just the touch of a hand. Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day and I just wanna tell you I am_

 

After the grand battement, Cas did an arabesque (pronounced ara-besk) as a transaction before conducting several pirouettes.

 

_So, honey, now. Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 

And as the chorus of the song played, Cas performed a jete leap - one of the most well known jumps in ballet. This is where the dancer leaps into the air to perform a split. As Castiel landed he brung his front foot downwards with his knee bent to absorb the shock, keeping his back leg and arms extended outwards as they were in the jump. He exhaled deeply, exhausted from those movements - quite hard movements. Breaking from his position as he heard a loud clap erupt from the doorway.

 

“Holy shit Cas, that was beautiful.” 

 

“…Dean…?” He paused for a moment as his facial expression was clearly bewildered at his arrival. “Ha-How long have you been there?” He questioned, whilst the other male made his way closer to him, to a much better talking distance.

 

“Not long, I began watching when you lifted your leg really high-“

 

“Grand battement.” Cas interrupted, naming the moves as it seemed that Dean’s knowledge of dance terminology is very little.

 

“Yeah and then when you twirled a lot of times-“

 

“Pirouettes.”

 

“And then when you did a split in mid air, shit that would surely be a showstopper!”

 

Cas bit his lower lip, casting his eyes downwards to the floor as he tried to stop himself from blushing again, damn, this man definitely has his way around his words. Dean Winchester had this magical effect about him, maybe he used that to get with way with girls as well. A few moments later, he lifted his gaze back to meet with Dean’s. Castiel’s blue eyes were captivated by Winchester’s apple green hues. The edges of his lips curved into a smile as Cas said: “Thank you”. Receiving compliments were awfully strange coming from another person, other than his sister that he didn’t really have a human way of reacting to them naturally- he has to think about it. He has to let his brain process their compliment first.

 

“So, Ed Sheeran, huh? You like him?” 

 

“I suppose you can say that but I refer to love him.” Cas half joked, with Dean rising an eyebrow.

 

“I see, i guess I do have a competition then.” Dean snickered.

 

Wait. Was Dean flirting with him? His response caused the dark haired male to blink at him several times, with Dean chucking once again. Damn it, that Winchester was teasing him again!!

 

“HIs songs are very meaningful, sometimes you just can’t help but get lost in them.” Cas responded seriously this time as he shrugged off Dean’s flirtatious behaviour and listened to the music still playing in the background. Dean couldn’t help but stare, unconsciously half smiling. Cas was different than most people he had ever met but he didn’t like the word ‘different’. Special? Yeah, he was special alright. Cas was special.

 

“What brings you here, so early in the morning? Obviously, not to practice pirouettes with me.” 

 

“I was going to meet my brother, go out with him to have some breakfast but then I realised I was ahead of schedule and turns out he’s just woken up. When I got out of my impala, I was planning to stroll through the university and my legs automatically brought me here."

 

A small giggle came from Cas’ lips. Despite his playboy looks and flirtatious attitude, Dean was actually really family oriented. “Well then, it looks like fate brought you here because they know I needed a partner to help construct this dance. You can also show me your ‘impressive’ dance moves.”

 

Castiel moved away from their close distance, back towards to speakers. Taking his phone as he restarted Thinking Out Loud also checking the time whist on his device.

 

7:03 am. 57 minutes until his first class. Oh well, he has time.

 

Once that mini errand was done, Cas replaced himself back besides Dean, facing the mirror in front of them. 

 

“I like to call this the Deanamator.” Dean sniggered as he bursted out into terrible dance moves, horrendous ones. Cas face palmed, oh his eyes were burning.

 

“D-Dean, stop. Just stop.” He suggested as he placed his hand on the other male’s arm which automatically brought him to a halt. “Okay, good.” Without permission, Cas took ahold of the slightly taller man’s hand and grasp it into his own. 

 

“Just take a deep breath and follow my lead.”


	4. Chapter 4

**June 25th**

 

A month after their meeting, Cas and Dean formed a beautiful bond. It was that kind of friendship that blooms in the centre of your heart - that kind of friendship that grows from the seed basking in the warm soil to a vast tree with many ups and downs, many - but not enough to disguise the enormity or the grandeur of such a tree, the sheer brilliance and beauty of it. 

 

"Hey Cas, what's up with you?" Sarea caught her little brother smiling at his phone. Again. It was like the 27th time today. Both of them were in the dancing studio. It was only them two as Dean had been called to do some mechanical work.

 

"Nothing, last time I checked." 

 

"Don't give me that bs! You've always been checking your phone almost every minute today and when you don't get something your face darkens but then when you get a text, you're in a whole different mo-"

 

In the very moment Sarea was interrupted by the sound of Cas' message alert. That creepily happy smile on Cas' lips emerged again. God did he look like a girl texting the guy she liked.

 

"Say, who are those texts from anyway?"

 

"Dean."

 

There was a moment of silence before Cas bursted out in giggles, as it escalated into louder laughter.

 

"What did he say?" 

 

"Dean told me a joke! Ahaha!" Cas said in between laughs as he turned his phone to Sarea. Though she was not as amused by it, may be because she was more concerned about him.

 

"Castiel, you barely get joke references! How the hell did you get this one?"

 

She stopped herself from saying anything else. Wait. She had to fit all the pieces together to get the final picture. Dean. Cas. Cas laughs at Dean's texts. Cas smiles whenever he gets a text from Dean. Cas is more social because of Dean. 

 

Bingo.

 

It hit her. Damn was she oblivious. It was as bright as day! Her little brother was in love with Dean Winchester! She turned her back from Cas as she snickered to herself. Turning around as she felt two taps on her shoulder.

 

"Shit me, Cas. Talk about giving a women a heart attack!" She exclaimed, jumping back slightly.

 

"What are you standing around for, Sarea? We need to practice your part and get it perfect."

 

The siblings both danced in unison, being critical of their of movements. They improved the dance by adding new positions and steps, replacing some old ones and swapping it with a decent variety. It was decided that it would be in the style of contemporary ballet. Incorporating elements of classical ballet and modern dance together would suit perfectly for Thinking Out Loud.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was just about 3 weeks until the dance competition, there should be no time for changing any more moves, but getting focused on nailing the whole routine altogether. Dean's schedule was somewhat as hectic than learning the actual dance. The pressure was indeed on.

 

**Friday, July 8th**

 

"Sarea, where are you? Dean and I are waiting for you at the studio." Cas asked on the phone, his eyes travelling over to Dean. Finally. They can practice.

 

"I was just about to call you, Cas. You see... I've broken my leg." Sarea mumbled weakly.

 

"What!" Castiel exclaimed, causing Dean to give him a look which basically spoke for itself. 'What's the matter?' Which he ignored for a minute so that he can continue his conversation with Sarea.

 

"I fell the down the flight of stairs okay? Our house has too bloody many of them."

 

"What about the dance? The competition! Sarea, there's no way that's going to heal in eight days! Should I find another dancer? But that dance is too complicated-"

 

"Calm down Cas, calm. Take a deep breath. You can't find another dancer. Not now. We only have eight days and as you said, it's too complicated to be learnt in that amount of days. So I was thinking... Maybe you should dance it, Cas." 

 

Sarea's suggestion confused the young male even more. "B-But, why me?"

 

"Don't play stupid Cas. You're capable enough. Though it is the female part you'll be dancing." A small chuckle could be heard from the other side of the phone. "Plus, you've basically invented it. You made it to a standard in which no one else can execute. It's your dance Cas, dance it." Sarea insisted, ending the call before Castiel could contradict anymore.

 

"What happened to Sarea?" Dean can finally ask after being held on pause.

 

"She's broken her leg and she wants me to take her place." 

 

"Wow, guess I'll be dancing with you after all, Cas." Dean snickered as he held out a hand towards his new dancing partner. 

 

"Cas, let's practice."

 

 

Dean and Cas has been practicing themselves, almost to death. Even practicing at each other's apartments. Everything was perfect. Dean's ridiculous style was replaced with something more elegant. Yet something still felt off about their combination. Not that they were both men... Eye contact!

 

"Dean, look into my eyes." The haired male instructed as he grabbed either side of Dean's arms and stared intently into those green hues.

 

"Woah Cas, what's with all of this suddenly?" Winchester questioned, as he couldn't help but look back. His eyes were locked with those ocean hues.

 

"I notice that you tend not to look directly into my eyes whilst dancing, it's putting me off. When we dance, we're met to have this connection. So look into my eyes and pretend that I am my sister." 

 

Shaking his head gently from side to side, Dean refused. "I can't see you as your sister, Cas."

 

"I see, is it because I'm a man? Should I wear a dress during the actual performance? Dean you have to look into my eyes!" Cas scolded as he caught him looking away. "Fine! Imagine that I am the person you love. Imagine dancing with the person you love. Imagine them in front of you."

 

Dean slowly find his way back towards his ocean, staring back with the same passion that is burning through Cas' gaze. 

 

"That's it... Now follow my lead."


	5. Chapter 5

**Saturday, July 16th**

 

Finally, the day the two had been anticipated for is here and no one can halt the dawn ebbing it's gradual way into daylight. Everyone hinges on what they do to their dance before the actual event starts, and once done it can never be undone. Cas can't think straight this morning. His hands spread like pale starfish around a standard-issue coffee cup from the cafeteria.  

 

It felt like he was trapped in an endless sea of people. Cas felt claustrophobic. The studios were filled with people, of all kind. From different schools around the state and even outside. There was noise everywhere. Sounds overlapping each other, all wanting to be as dominant as each other. The sound of people’s footsteps, music and heavy breathing. It was like being in a different dimension, Castiel was somewhat sat there staring out in space, he was lost in thought. He heard someone's cell phone ringing, a child wailing who probably is afraid of all the strangers in this overpopulated place. 

 

“Hey Cas, don’t sweat it. We’ll be just as good- no, we’ll be better than them.” Dean assured as he lowered himself to the ground. HIs back against the mirrored wall room, sliding down next to his partner. “After all, I’ll be following your lead.” He sniggered, turning his head so that he was looking at the side of Cas’ face. “Enough thinking, let’s go get into costume.” 

 

Cas and Dean both agreed to meet downstairs, the main hall. Being in rather formal clothes was uncomfortable for the Dean, despite him looking ever so handsome in a white long sleeved shirt which was rolled up to his elbows, a black waist coat and a tie, he still preferred his leather jacket, plaided shirt with a plain t-shirt underneath and his jeans. No one can ever convince him to change his style. Fussing about his costume to his brother, they awaited for Cas’ arrival. 

 

“God, what could be keeping them so long?” Dean muttered as Sam’s eyes scanned the massive dance hall. The younger Winchester had not formally met Cas or his sister yet, so he can only assume if the people that were headed in their direction was them.

 

“Hey, hey is that them?” Sam queried as he tapped on Dean’s shoulder and pointed in a direction where two- no three people were coming. 

 

“No- wait a minute. That’s Sarea, but I don’t know the guy pushing her wheelchair.” Dean stated as he squinted his eyes to try and get a better look, raising the side of his left hand to sit just above the brow.

 

“Hello Dean!” Sarea greeted with a bright attitude. 

 

“Wow Sarea, when I said break a leg, I didn’t mean it literally.” Dean joked as Sarea rolled her eyes.

 

“Oh haha, make fun of me all you want. Just look after my brother out there.”

 

“I don’t understand?”

 

“The amount of times you have stepped on my feet, I think you broke my toes before I have broken my leg.” Sarea chuckled as she shook her head from side to side.

 

“Where’s Cas anyway?” 

 

“He’s right behind me.” The mysterious man behind the wheelchair spoke up from the silence he had maintained.

 

“Cas stop being fussy and come out, it was your decision to wear that anyway.” Sarea instructed as she threw a look over her shoulder, causing the man behind her to bring Castiel into the eyesight of Dean and Sam.

 

Dean’s eyes widened as he couldn’t believe that the person standing in front of him was Cas. He wore a creamish-white gown mad of soft, satiny fabric, long and loose. A semicircular, high collar made of silk-like materials headed the ankle-length robe. He walked shyly with his head down at first, slowly rising it so his eyes met with Dean’s, who was still visibly in shock; but the guy next to Dean was the one who mostly gained his curiosity. 

 

“Holy mother of god.” Dean breathed, taking a moment as his brain was still processing.

 

“Dean.” Sam mumbled before nudging him with his elbow.

 

“I’m sorry,” Dean snapped out of his trance. “This is my younger brother, Sam.” With his, the taller male extended a hand towards Cas.

 

“Nice to meet you Cas and Sarea…?” Sam said quite unsurely. “My brother has told me a lot about the both of you. Thank you for putting up with him and teaching him how to dance. I hope he hasn’t caused you too much trouble.”

 

“Hey, don’t make it sound like I’m a child. Maybe you need a reminder who the older sibling is, Sammy.” Cas took the hand which was reached out to him, watching Sam move onto Sarea, whom he had also shared hands with.

 

“This guy is our older brother, Grabriel.” Cas introduced as Gabriel gave his playboy smile.

 

An announcement which erupted through the speakers of the hall caused the overcrowded area to somewhat quieten down slightly. “ALL PERFORMERS PLEASE BE SEATED AT THE FRONT OF THE HALL AND WAIT FOR A MEMBER OF STAFF TO CALL YOU UP ONTO BACK STAGE. AUDIENCES PLEASE FIND A SEAT. THE COMPETITION SHALL START IN TEN MINUTES.”

“Well then, break a leg.” Sarea wished the both of them luck.

 

“Literally or figuratively?” Dean smugly asked.

 

“Get out of here, Winchester.” Sarea replied as Gabriel wheeled her off to the side, with Sam following them.

 

“Let’s go Cas.” Dean urged as he led him towards a seat, a hand on Cas’ lower back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The duo was numbered to be the last dancers to dance. Shit. That was what went through the dark haired male’s mind. They were the people who had to close the entire show. Now he was feeling even more pressured than before. The levels of anxiousness and stirring of his insides increased. He had sat there, watching each performance judging their timing and the movements used. 

 

Dean couldn’t help but continuously keep glancing at Castiel. He knew he had to do something to get this anticipation of waiting to perform to disperse. “Hey Cas.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Stop looking at them, you’re the most beautiful one here tonight.” 

 

Cas’ eyes slowly moved towards his left side, where Dean was sat. Uh-oh, did he not appreciate being called ‘beautiful’?

 

“I-I figured that it would help you to look at me more if I seemed more feminine.”

 

Dean took Cas’ hand into his own and gave it a squeeze. “You didn’t need to, I can look at you twenty four - seven and I won’t get tired.”

 

“It didn’t seem that way in practice.”

 

“Because your eyes are as blue as the ocean, I thought I might drown if I stare into them for too long.” 

 

There he goes again with his compliments, Castiel bit his lip as he felt the rising temperature and creeping shade of pink on his cheeks. “T-Thank you, Dean.” He smiled, relaxing his hand in Dean’s. He felt more calm and collected. His compliments caused his mind to focus on what he had said about his appearance than the ticking hands of the clock which will symbolise that it is their time.

 

The atmosphere of the room was extremely hot. Sweat was trickling down everyone's face. As they were led off the stage, then a crew member approached them. “Please make your way back stage.”

 

As they followed their instructions, Cas whispered to Dean before they got on stage. “Dean, you remember what to do right?”

 

“Follow your lead.” Dean responded confidently as he followed behind him. They both got into their starting position, waiting for their chosen music to be played.

 

_When your legs don't work like they used to before and I can't sweep you off of your feet._

 

The boys continued their dance, and to the audience every movement was full of poetry. They advanced, retreated, pirouetted, their arms waving from side to side above their heads, their heads swaying, Cas' garment fluttering with every swirl. 

 

_Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?_

 

Castiel kicked his right leg forward with pointed toes and felxed calf muscles, the darked haired male pivoted in a revolving whirl of sharp precision and accurate grace. He wanted this as badly as he wanted to breathe. The entirty of his being began advancing in movement with purpouseful clarity and absolute control. With each poised stride he took, it became crippeling obvious just how demanding and rigorusly punishing the practice of this sequence had been on his body.

 

_And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70. And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23. And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways._

 

The dancers move like water transformed by music, flowing in graceful arcs, limbs in constant motion, painting a picture sound alone can never achieve. They bring a wordless interpretation of the beats, of the soft strings, in a way the audience can understand no matter what language they speak. In that way their dance isn't simply movement, but the most honest form of communication I know. Isn't that how we humans are, saying what we think we ought but showing how we truly feel in our art?

 

_Maybe just the touch of a hand. Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day and I just wanna tell you I am._

 

There were the times where Cas did his own little thing whilst Dean waited patiently. No matter how many times he had seen Cas do the moves such as an arabesque, grand battement or a grand jete leap, it memorised him. Every time.

 

_So, honey, now. Take me into your loving arms._

 

There were movements which caused them to come ever so close, especially their faces. Throughout the duration of the whole performance, Dean did not remove his eyes from his partner. They did not wonder off. They were fully stuck on him. And as the song came to an end, Dean and Cas finished in their finishing position - which was Cas’ back arched backwards with the support of Dean’s arm, who was also looming close to him. Their chests brushing against each other.

 

_Oh, baby, we found love right where we are and we found love right where we are._

 

There was a sort break before all the performers were called upon the stage so that the judges can give their verdict.

 

“To the last act… I believe that we will have to disqualify you.”

 

It took a second for the news to sink into Dean, expanding his both of his arms outwards. “But why? What did we do wrong?”

 

“Your performance was promoting homosexuality. That is a sin in the bible.”

 

It shocked most people in the crowd, though the majority also agreed with judgement. “THAT’S BULLSHIT!” Sarea exclaimed from the crowd. “JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE BOTH MEN, DANCING TOGETHER DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE NECESSARILY PROMOTING HOMOSEXUALITY! AND SO WHAT IF THEY ARE, WHY DOES THEIR PREFERENCES TO PEOPLE MATTER TO YOU? IF THEY CAN DANCE, THEY CAN DANCE.”

 

“Excuse me, Madam. We would ask you to keep quiet or else we’ll have to call security.” 

 

“THEN CALL SECURITY YOU FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC BASTARD!”

 

“Sarea, that’s enough. Let’s not cause a scene here.” Gabriel stopped as he covered her mouth. Looking at Cas who was deeply affected. Gabriel tilted his head to the entrance, signalling that they should leave.

 

“Let’s go Dean.” He mumbled as he casted his eyes down, tugging on the other’s sleeve.

 

“She’s right. You’re a son of a bitch.” Dean cursed at the judge as they made their leave.

 

Cas' shoulders were slumped and his eyes cast down in a mournful gaze. His mouth was set in position where it was the opposite of a smile. 

 

"Cas, hey, don't listen to them." Dean tried to get the male to listen, but it did not seem as his voice was getting to him.

 

Gabriel stopped pushing Sarea as he stood in front of Dean, preventing him from pursuing his brother even more. 

 

"Gabriel, move out of the way, please."

 

"Uhm, maybe later big boy." He fired back.

 

"Let Cas be alone for now, I'm sure you mean well Dean but..." Sarea spoke, as she watched the direction Cas took, from the looks of it, he seemed as he was heading back to his apartment. 

 

"Speak to him tomorrow. When he is not as overwhelmed as he is right now." Gabriel supported Sarea's suggestion. "Now if you may excuse us." He said before turning the wheelchair the other direction. Leaving Dean on his own for a few moments as Sam came up behind him. 

 

"Dean, if you need-"

 

"No. I'm fine."

 


	6. Chapter 6

Cas had cried a few tears when he arrived, it was like another replay of the scenario he had at home. Changing out of the beautiful cream garment into a plain t-shirt and pyjama bottoms. He laid down on his bed, as the day's events repeatedly played on and on through his mind. The voice of the judge that disqualified them and the raging voice of his sister were ringing through his ears in the empty room. Where there was no one else but himself to contemplate.

 

The sun streamed through the windows, yet his mind was clouded with grey. Yesterday had been fun, but today he worried people would have found out about the outburst in the competition. You know schools. Once news or rumours start, it can spread like wildfire and hard to die out. Cas' mood ricocheted between low and lower. He had no energy or motivation to get up and pretend that everything was just fine. 

 

His first class was at 9 am. Glancing over at the clock on his nightstand. It read 7:21 am. It was still too damn early, that's for sure. 

 

Closing his eyes once more, deciding that he should catch up on missed sleep. Jolting his eyes open as he quickly turned towards the clock. 8:34 am. Shit. Too much sleep, too much sleep. Cas rushed out of bed as he performed his daily routine.

 

 

After his first class, it seemed as though he had no more classes due to the fact that some of his teachers were absent today. It was finally a free day. Cas walked to the abandoned park, which he claimed as his own territory. The certain place on the tree trunk, perfect shade from the sun and the heat. That was his favourite place. Placing his bag next to him as he got out his book and leaned his back against the wood and decided to read.

 

The first place Dean thought he would aught to go was the dance studio, but once he arrived there, it was as empty as it usually was. Unlike yesterday when it jammed pack. He sighed as he made his way down the staircase, spotting Sarea near the landing. 

 

"Dean," She said first.

 

"Sarea, have you seen Cas?"

 

"I knew I'd find you here. Cas won't be here. Obviously regarding to yesterday's scenario but there is a place he always go to. No matter what, you'll always find him there."

 

"Great! Can you tell me where it is?"

 

"It's a five minute walk from the university. It's in the abandoned park. Take two right turns and continue that way. You'll find him at the very back of the park, on the biggest and oldest tree there. He'll either be sleeping or reading."

 

"Thank you Sarea!" He said before dashing off.

 

"Ah youngsters and love..." Sarea mumbled to herself. Ew. She sounded like an old lady.

 

Dean took the impala, which was waiting for him in the car park. Although it was a five minute walk, the journey can easily be cut down to a few minutes by taking the vehicle. Driving out of the parking lot, out of the grounds of the university, Dean continuously chanted the directions to himself. “Two right turns, two right turns, two right turns.” Not even five minutes, he was his destined place. He parked the impala on the sidewalk. He wouldn’t be long away. 

 

He opened the gate to the park cautiously as he treaded through the place. It was eerily beautiful. The trees, flowers and the equipment that any park would have; such as swings and slides. “The very back of the park, huh…” Dean reminded himself as he proceeded, turning his head every direction, his eyes scanning the entire area. Finally, he spotted the largest tree in the entire park and just as Sarea said, Cas was there.

 

“Cas!” He called out, raising his right hand and waved in order to get the other’s attention.

 

Rising his attention from the book and to the direction where he heard his name. That voice. “Dean…” He whispered, folding he top corner of the page before closing it. As he did so, Winchester slowly made his way to him by a gentle jog. 

 

“What brings you here, Dean?”

 

“Well a little birdie told me where your secret hideaway is and it is beautiful and peaceful.”

 

Cas let out a suppressed chuckle. “No, seriously though.”

 

“You and me, have a date.”

 

“A date? Since when?”

 

“Since now.” Dean bluntly answered as he grabbed Cas and pulled him by the arm, accidentally pulling too hard as it caused the dark haired male to stumble into his chest. “You’re coming with me. I want to show you my secret hideaway.” He explained briefly as Castiel pulled himself away from the other’s chest. 

 

“But De-“

 

“No excuses, you don’t have any more classes right? Why else would you be out here reading and not doing your assignments if you don’t?"

 

“Fair enough.” Cas sighed as he gave in easily, packing the book back into his bag, throwing the bag straps over his shoulders. “So which way?”

 

“I got the impala. Saves the prince from walking.” Dean smiled smugly as they begin walking side by side, exiting the park together. Dean opened the passenger door for Cas, as always. It was a small gesture but it would always cause Cas to smile shyly. They always have the most complex yet intriguing conversations. It was like a first hand experience of Cas’ world for Dean.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“We’ll have to walk from here.” Dean broke the news to Cas.

 

“That’s fine.”  Cas stepped out of the impala only to be greeted by a beautiful green scenery. It was very similar to his own, yet this was far more vast and exquisite.

 

“Follow me, Cas.” 

 

The path they had taken through the meadow was as visible as any trail in fresh snowfall. The tall grasses, inflexible in their dryness were flattened from the far hedgerow to the canopy of the woodland leaves where they now stood. Cas marvelled at their path, so ragged and bent, not at all the straight line he had imagined themselves walking. The wild flowers were a cacophony of colour on the fading green; purple thistles, blue cornflowers, red poppies and tall asters with their yellow centres. There was no coordination like the displays in the stalls which sold flowers, just a free-for-all choreographed by the wind.

 

There was a shallow ditch at the edge of the meadow. Where the grass was thick, growing in dense tussocks, unlike the ones at the entrance. There was an oak tree which provided sun-flecked shade, a cool and refreshing respite from the mid-summer sun. The rutted track, once boggy was mud hardened and cracked. The meadow lay peaceful in the thickening light of the afternoon.

 

“This place is breath taking…” Cas breathed as he ran his hands over the trunk of the oak tree. Looking over to Dean who just stood there and watched him do his own thing. “I feel so special, this is your place…” 

 

“Because you are special, Cas.” 

 

Shaking his head as he refused to accept that compliment. “No, you’re just saying that because of what happened yesterday.”

 

“I’m serious, Cas.”

 

That caused a puzzled expression to cloud over Cas’ current face. “What are you saying Dean?”

 

“What the judges said yesterday Cas, don’t let that get to you because what they said made me realise something.” Dean paused for a moment, moving towards Castiel who stood there, waiting for him to finish his speech. The slightly taller male placed his hand on Cas’ jawline, his thumb caressing his cheek. “Cas…” Dean exhaled, his eyes searching for some assurance in Cas’ hues, gradually leaning forward. Just before the moment of collision, he felt a barrier between their lips and he was right. It was Castiel’s hand.

 

“I’m sorry, Dean. I can’t.”

 

Dean pulled away. “Cas, I love you. I’ve come to a conclusion to that and to myself. I’ve never felt this way for anyone, Cas.”

 

“Dean. You don’t understand.”

 

“Then explain it to me Cas, so that I can understand.”

 

“It’s too complexed, it’s complicated.”

 

With this Dean clenched his fist as he nodded in response. “Okay. Okay.” Saying that, he began to retreat through the way the came from. Cas following but with quite a distance between them. 

 

“Where to?” Dean questioned simply, as they were both in the car.

 

“The apartment, please.”

 

There was no conversation this time. Dean drove in silence, Cas forced to stare at the road ahead of him. occasionally glancing over at Dean- yet the other did not do the same. He was fully focused on returning Cas back home.

 

Once they were there, Cas thanked Dean before apologising again. He waited for the sound of the impala’s engine to be turned off as he reached the main entrance door. Turning his head up to see Dean still in the vehicle, doing a U-turn before driving off somewhere. Somehow this abandonment clenched Castiel’s heart, making him feel somewhat down.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Settling back into his own space, Cas was mentally exhausted. His mind was a surging perplexity. All he could think about was Dean. Placing his bag on the floor before plopping himself onto his bed. He felt his phone vibrate in his front left pocket. 

 

“Hello Dean?”

 

“Since when was the name Sarea ever pronounced as Dean?” 

 

“Oh Sarea…” Cas’ voice saddened, he assumed it was the older Winchester.

 

“I know that voice. What happened?”

 

“Dean said t-that he l-loved me.”

 

“Hehe, I knew he would be the first to confess.” She muttered on the other side of the line.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Oh don’t worry about it. So what did you say?”

 

“I said that I couldn’t…”

 

“WHAT? YOU’RE AN IDIOT, YOU DO KNOW THAT RIGHT? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?”

 

The female’s shouting caused the dark haired male to hold the phone a little further from his ear. “Sarea, you know why… Because of Mom, dad and Zachariah.”

 

“You don’t live here anymore Cas, you’re free! You’re free to do whatever you want! Do what ever makes you happy- that’s why you’ve moved out remember?”

 

“But..”

 

“C’mon Cas, we both know that no matter how hard you try, you cannot change who you really are. You’ve tried so many times for mother and father’s sake but you were never happy. PLUS! It’s as bright as day that you are both so gay for each other. Don’t let him go, Cas. Dean’s a good person- wait, where is Dean anyway?”

 

“He drove off somewhere after he dropped me off.”

 

“Shit. Alright, I’ll text him to come to dance tomorrow. You better be there after your classes. You hear?”

 

“Roger that.”

 

Placing his phone on his bedstead as he rolled onto his stomach, digging his face into his pillow. All that ran through his mind was what Dean could be doing right now. He could be drinking, be with his brother or sleeping with women and that thought was painful for him to bear.

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

The morning fades in like a scene from a bad theatre production. The cast stomp about, slam doors and project their voices as far as their lips, then sulk because no-one replied. It would be funny if this same play wasn’t repeated every morning at 7 am. But it does, and Cas has a bit-part to play with no line. All he had to do was to get out of bed, eat, take a shower, get dressed, fix his bag and leave the apartment with his earphones in. No smiling required. Yet this was new day. Putting the past two days behind him, he breathed in the fresh morning air, exhaling the negativity.

 

Though the classroom walls are bare the windows are large. Everyone wants a window seat, to sit in the unsubdued light of the morning. Outside the sky was blue expect for a few strands of stratus that trail like aeroplane trails. It never really occurred to Cas but whomever painted the walls in here must have had an imagination bypass. It was so plain. God, sitting in class never felt so long. It was the same anticipation feeling when he was waiting to be called up on the stage. Cas stared at the clock, the ticking of the minute hand almost drove him insane. It was as if life was purposely dragging the hours on and on for him to suffer.

 

What felt like an eternity later, the bell rang. The alarm echoed throughout the room, causing all students to cheer and pack their belongings as they all rushed towards the door, the only way out of hell. 

 

Cas waited for the commotion to die down before exiting himself, heading towards the building he had promised to go to. His feet never felt so reluctant to step in, but he had to. Not because of Dean but because Sarea will most likely kill him if he went back on his promise. Slowly taking each step, the male eventually made it to the top. He pushed the door open to their usual studio as he was surprised, Dean was already there. Winchester glanced up to him before turning back to his conversation with the older Novak.

 

“Ah, Castiel.” Sarea greeted.

 

“How did you get up Sarea?” Cas questioned.

 

“I flew.” Sarea joked as she chuckled. “Cas, it’s the twenty first century. We have things called elevators.”

 

“We had one?”

 

“Yeah it got installed last summer. For cases such as mine.”

 

The dark haired male placed his items in the usual place, with all the others. “Alright you two, I want you to perform a casual waltz.”

 

Dean nodded, following his instructions. 

 

“Dean hold your partner close: you can't waltz with someone if you're keeping him at arm's length and trying to pretend he's not with you.” Sarea scolded.

 

“Here you’re meant to have your arm around my waist.” Cas assisted him, moving his arm so it was around his waist. He then moved his left hand so it was placed on Dean’s nearer shoulder. Before Cas was able to take Dean’s hand, the other already performed that adjustment. Castiel felt the gentle hold on his waist and from the hand which grasped his own.

 

“Perfect.” Sarea smiled from her wheelchair, as she pressed both her hands together in awe of the two.

 

Despite this close distance, Dean refused to make any eye contact with Castiel. As Sarea played the music which they had to dance to, Dean and Castiel’s footwork were tragic. Absolutely tragic. Cas tried not to show that it was hurting every time Dean were to step on his foot. Sarea just shook her head in disappointment. Pausing the music, causing Dean and Cas to halt. They both withdrew from their position but somewhat maintained this close distance. “Enough, enough. What is wrong with the both of you?” Although she already knows, she wanted the two to reflect on their feelings.

 

“I’m so-“ The duo said simultaneously but was also cut off.

 

“Don’t apologise to me. Apologise to each other. Whatever the other has done could be forgiven, right?”

 

Silence.

 

“Seriously, just what are you two? Children? I don’t want either of you to leave this room until you have resolved your problem.” Sarea ordered as she wheeled herself out of the room. They both remained silent as they both heard the door shut after the female’s leave. A heavy silence settled over them, thicker then the uneasy tension in the atmosphere in the car. Unsettled eyes glanced unceremoniously around and tried to avoid catching each other glances that passed by. 

 

Seeing as Sarea wouldn’t let them leave the room until they had fixed their ‘problem’, Cas spoke up first. “Dean.”

 

“Cas.” Finally, calling each other’s names, they both brought their attention onto each other. Eye contact. Cas could see a slight progress.

 

“Dean, what I said yesterday-“

 

“That was yesterday Cas, I guess we could draw a line there right? Forgive and forget.”

 

“No. Dean, I cannot simply just forget what you said yesterday. Specially when I haven’t given you my answer yet.”

 

“Cas, you clearly said that your stuck in a position where it is too ‘complexed’ and ‘complicated’ for me to un-“

 

“I-I want to love you too.”

 

“Cas don’t pity me.” Dean shook his head as he attempted to turn his back to him, yet was prevented as Castiel gripped his arm and turned him back to his original position. “Cas loo-“

 

"These two surely have the habit of cutting each other’s sentences…” Sarea mumbled quietly, leaning her ear against the door.

 

But little did she know that the reason why Dean’s sentence was cut off was because Castiel grabbed the Winchester’s leather coat collar along with his shirt he wore as a second layer, dragging him down slightly until their lips crashed. Cas’ eyes were tightly shut, however Dean acted as this was his first kiss and didn’t know how to react. Cas’ lips were upon his own… Cas was kissing him! God, did that take a while for that to sink in. Dean felt the other almost pulling away. 

 

Shit, no. No, no, no, no. On impulse, Dean’s hand cupped the dark haired male’s face, keeping their lips pressed against each other. This time he had his eyes closed, The kiss obliterated every thought running through their minds. For the first time in forever Dean’s mind was focused on what was happening, like he was locked in the present moment. The worries and problems between them evaporated like the summer shower onto a hot car. It was a small yet warm kiss. Dean honestly never knew a kiss so innocent could be so intimate and so electrifying. Neither wanted the simple action of their lips just pressed tightly against each other but they had to withdraw for a breath of air.

 

“W-Wow…” Cas muttered as he brought his fingertips to graze over his lips, the feeling of Dean’s mouth was tingling. “I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t know how else to stop you and to make you believe me and that was my first kiss.”

 

Dean blinked a few times. Castiel just gave his first kiss to him? This caused a smirk to emerge onto Winchester’s lips and Cas to awkwardly smile back. How could he stay mad at this human right in front of him?

 

“God Cas, you continue to amaze me.”  Dean pulled the other closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. Castiel did not really understand what was going on as he was still dazed from the kiss itself; however Dean’s embrace was warm, his arms seemed ver protective when it is wrapped around the dancer’s body. The world around them melted away as Cas squeezed him back.

 

"Dean what are we now?" Cas questioned whilst in the embrace.

 

"Lovers. Boyfriends." Dean listed as he placed a kiss on top of the male's forehead.

 

"I like the sound of that." 

 

Loud knocking can be heard which was then followed after a voice. "How long are you two going to bond without giving me a full report?" Sarea questioned from the other side of the door. 

 

Dean and Cas pulled away, with Cas moving swiftly towards the door to let his sister back in. 

 

"Sarea, have you ever considered to be a couples' therapist in the future?" Dean sniggered as when Cas came back to him, he placed an arm around him.

 

The female's smile was so large that her eyes were very visible anymore. "Glad to be of service."

 

"Let's go home?" Cas suggested, with the other two agreeing. 

 

"Sarea do you need a lift home?"

 

"No thank you, Gabriel's waiting outside."

 

"We'll push assist you until we see Gabriel then." Cas stated as he went over to the area he had placed his items down, only to have them taken out of his hands. 

 

"Let me hold them for you."

 

"Dean you don't have to."

 

"I insist."

 

"Can you two stop being so sweet, you're both making my teeth rot." Sarea commented, sticking out a tongue childishly so that these two lovers can stop this petty back and fourth insistent. During the elevator ride and the walk to the car park, Sarea demanded to get filled in on her missing details. They talked until Gabriel rolled her away, leaving Cas and Dean alone once again. 

 

Reaching for the door, Cas and Dean's hands came into contact. 

 

"This feels like de ja vu..." Castiel pointed out as he looked at the Winchester for an answer.

 

"The first time I gave you a ride, remember?" The slightly taller male chuckled as he opened the door. "For the- wait. For my prince."

 

 

Once arriving at their apartment building, Cas opened the door of the impala but then turned to other.

 

"Dean, you don't have work for the rest of the day, right?"

 

"No, I don't."

 

"W-Would you like to come in for some tea or coffee?"

 

"I can't refuse when it's you." Dean said as he nodded. "Let me just park the car, baby." 

 

Raising a brow, Cas was stopped from editing the vehicle again. 

 

"What's the matter, Cas?"

 

"Dean you're such a two timer."

 

Winchester furrowed his brows into the middle as he waited kindly for Cas to explain.

 

"The impala is your baby and you've also just called me baby."

 

"You're both my babies. Just one is my boyfriend, adorable and is one hell of a dancer." Dean explained as he reached one hand over to Cas and stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. "Go on, I'll be right behind you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: The first half of this chapter contains smut. To avoid it, please scroll down to first line where the story is distinguishably split. Enjoy. :)

Castiel made his way to his apartment first, placing his things aside, fixing a few items which seems out of place. For some reason he cared more about the appearance of his apartment this time than the first when Dean came around unexpectedly. He then moved to the kitchen, filling the kettle with water from the tap, placing it on its base before pushing down on the lever. Afterwards, he reached into the cupboard for two mugs. Three knocks came from the front door whilst Cas was pouring in the right coffee amount and sugar. “It’s open.” He called out loud enough so the other could hear him. On that note, Dean opened the door and closed it behind him, locking it once he entered.

   

“Cas…” Dean murmured lowly as he came behind the preoccupied individual, wrapping his arms around his waist. Castiel felt a hot breath on his neck, then the tender brush of lips. Burning as they made contact with his neck, this action caused Cas to tilt his head to his left shoulder unintentionally revealing more of the flesh for the other. 

 

“Dean, I’m making drinks!” The dark haired male scolded, turning his head to be confronted with the Winchester’s face a few millimetres apart. Dean seised the opportunity to steal a kiss off of his lover’s lips, pulling back smugly. 

 

"God, I'm already addicted to you.” 

 

“Dean…”

 

“Cas, I don’t think I can wait anymore.” Dean admitted as snuggled his head into the crook of Castiel’s neck, hoping this action will somewhat help convince him. This only caused Cas to chuckle as he leaned his head gently on Dean’s as a response. 

 

“Alright, baby. Let’s go.” Giggling slightly as the word ‘baby’ was foreign on the dark male’s tongue, it felt strange saying it as well as being called the nickname; however, he must admit, although it is commonly used, it feels special when the person you love calls you by it. Cas’ vision was perfectly until he felt the whole world turn for a moment, only to find himself being carried in Winchester’s arms, bridal style. “D-Dean! You don’t have to carry me, put me down!” He exclaimed out of shock but was silenced by another stolen kiss. 

 

“Lead me, Cas. Which way to your room?” Dean asked as he made his way through the apartment with the other male in his arms. 

 

“Just walk straight to the right, and my room is behind that door.” Cas instructed. He was expecting Dean to falter in his strength whilst carrying him there but he did not. So he is as strong as he looks, huh? 

 

He placed Cas down on his bed gently. Castiel cautiously laid down on his own bed, unaware of what Dean’s plans for him were, he moved some hair that fell to the front of his face and his eyes followed the other’s every movement. Cas knew what he wanted Winchester to do, he had been longing for his touch as well, and finally they were at a stage where they can both fulfil their sexual desires. Dean caught the gaze of his lover as he smiled, stripping his leather jacket - which was his third layer, then followed by his plaided unbuttoned shirt - his second layer. As each item were being removed, he folded them neatly and placed them aside also taking off his shoes and socks.

 

Novak thought he'd aught to do the same, sitting himself up before removing his shoes and socks first, next thing to come off was sweater vest; although he was hesitant as his fingers trembled slightly undoing a button slowly. Dean noticed this as he glanced over, ridding of his t-shirt which was his first and final top layer he had for his top half. He left his bottom half still clothed, before making his was to Cas. Sitting on the edge of the bed as his hands wrapped around the other’s, assisting him with it. “Hey, I’ll treat you right.” The male assured his lover, placing a hand on his jaw as he crashed their lips once more. Both men had their eyes closed as they kissed, Dean licking the dark haired male’s bottom lip for entrance as Cas unconsciously opened up to him. The Winchester slowly pushed the other down as he moved his position so that he was now hovering on top of him. Their lips still captivated by each other, their tongues fighting for dominance whilst exploring each other’s mouths. 

 

Dean removed the hand from Cas’ face so that it can help the other limb to free his lover from the clothing. Undoing Castiel’s shirt was in time for when they had to pull away for oxygen, sticky saliva connected both of their lips before Dean wiped it away. Moving over to Cas’ neck, he made a butterfly trail of kisses down to his chest, stopping at a nipple to suck on. This caused the male beneath him to moan, all of this was still new to him after all. The feeling of kissing someone and the sensation of having your body touched by another human is peculiar. Dean simpered as he heard the moan, damn Cas’ and his body was enough to make him hard but his moans, God were they something else. They were like angel choirs singing in his ears. He played with Cas’ nipple until he had enough teasing him, continuing with his butterfly trail kisses until he had reached another barrier - Cas’ trousers. Unfastening the button and zipper, Dean pulled the trousers down his lover’s legs, sliding them off as he tossed them to the side for now. Thinking about something for a split second as Winchester decided it was best to get rid of Novak’s underwear whilst he was at it. Finally beneath him was a beautiful naked human being with porcelain skin, this caused the dominant male to glide his tongue over his top lip. The reaction was the same as a predator feasting upon a prey they have worked hard to catch. Dean took ahold of his lover’s dick, placing the semi-erected member into his mouth. 

 

“Dean-ah!” Cas gasped as his hands instinctively ran through Dean’s hair and grasped it gently whilst the other continued to pleasure him. Dean wanted to go slow and gentle with his lover, showing his love and affection for him with each touch. He continued to suck on Castiel’s penis until he came, swallowing the other’s semen was not a problem for him as he wiped the remains of the substance with his thumb. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold back.”

 

Smirking at the apology, Dean shook his head. “It’s alright, Cas.”

 

“Let me do some work, I can’t let you take all the responsibility.” Cas insisted, “Also, it’s not fair that I’m the only one fully naked.” Chortling lightly as Dean nodded in defeat, excusing himself as he stood to remove the denim jeans then his undergarments, freeing his hard cock from the cage it was trapped in. Cas couldn’t help but stare at the man’s gorgeously built body, well here was one of God’s miracles for sure. Lifting himself from his laying down position, Cas awaited for the other to come closer. He took ahold of Dean’s staff, engulfing his cock, circling his tongue around the tip before gaging it down his throat. Surprised by Cas’ actions, Dean grabbed some of the male’s hair as he somewhat used it as something to hold onto. Cas continued to bob his head up and down until pre-cum started to drip from Dean’s head. Although he would have continued, Dean stopped him.

 

“Cas, I need you to suck on these instead.” He stated as he shoved three fingers in front of the other’s face, in replacement of his dick. Cas nodded as he opened his mouth and coated the fingers with his saliva. Once Dean thought it was enough, he instructed Cas to lay back down with his legs spread open. Doing so, Dean placed himself in between his lover’s legs as he inserted the first finger.

 

“It feels… strange,” Cas commented as Dean thrusted the finger in and out, eventually adding the second and third. Cas moaned as he would grind his hips against Winchester’s fingers. Castiel’s insides craved his touch. He craved it so much. Retracting his fingers, Cas felt empty; however to replace that emptiness was Dean’s cock and boy did it fill his whole anus. “D-Dean, I don’t think it’ll fit!” Cas expressed as his hands grasped his bed sheets.

 

“It’ll fit, Cas, just loosen up a bit. You’re tensing!”

 

“Why don’t you shrink slightly?” Cas fired back as he attempted to loosen his muscles. Slowly, Dean was able to push his entire member into Cas. 

 

“Baby are you okay?” Dean questioned, slightly panting due to the tightness surrounding his sensitive hardened erection. 

 

“I’m fine, you can start moving.” Novak assured as he bit his bottom lip, feeling the member loosen his insides leisurely. It took a few thrusts until he started feeling the pleasure. “Oh my- Dean there!” Cas exclaimed as Dean managed to hit his most pleasurable spot. “Fuck me Dean!” He groaned every time when Dean was able to reach it. “ _Harder! Faster!_ ” Cas ordered as he began to circle his hips with each penetration. The submissive male lost all rational thought, he was consumed by the though Dean and his cock. Their movements were in time, both working well together.

 

“Fuck Cas, you’re so tight!” Dean moaned as he would increase his speed, thrusting as deep as he can into his lover. “I-I’m close.” Winchester warned, taking his hand and gasped Cas’s dick and began to pump it. 

 

“Fuck Dean!” Castiel screamed as he came onto both of their chests. Dean followed after, releasing his load inside the other as he collapsed on top of Cas.

 

“Dean you’re heavy.”

 

“Not as heavy as you when I carried you.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

“Think again.” 

 

“I hate you but I love you.” Cas chuckled, which was infectious because Dean also laughed. 

 

“And I love you too.” Dean tittered, pecking Cas’ lips as he rolled off to the side.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Unlike the typical ‘have sex and fall asleep’, the pair was very much awake, slightly cramped due to Cas’ bed only being a singular; though they have managed to find a way to fit on the bed. Their naked bodies were pressed against each other, facing one way - practically spooning. Dean’s arms were wrapped around his lover, eliminating all possible personal space left. 

 

“Cas…” Dean whispered, questioning if he was still awake.

 

“Hmm…?” He hummed softly.

 

“Will you, tell me more about yourself?" 

 

Castiel cleared his throat as a symbolism of a ‘yes’. “My name is Castiel Jimmy Novak. Born on the twentieth of August 1992. I was raised in a religious family, very devout. I am one of four children. Zachariah, my eldest brother, following is Gabriel next is Sarea and then it’s me.”

  

Absorbing the information that Cas had given him, he made sure that he remembered his lover’s birthday. The twentieth of August huh? “That means you’re twenty three. Just a couple months older than me, by five months.”

 

“It’s to be expected, in honesty, I thought you’d be younger.” Cas snickered.

 

“I guess I should spill too. I’m Dean Campbell Winchester, formally named after my maternal grandmother, Deanna Campbell. My mother and father died, but you could also say that I have been raised in a happy family. My mother died in a house fire when I was four, my father died shortly afterwards as he couldn’t cope with the lost. I’m the eldest between Sam and me by four years and Bobby is like our second father.”

 

“Dean, you didn’t have to tell me information that pains you to remember.” Cas comforted, saddened by Dean’s past.

 

“It’s fine Cas, it was a long time ago.” Nuzzling his face into the darker coloured hair, inhaling his scent. “Say, why don’t you live with your family?”

 

“As I said before, my parents are very devout and religious. They believe in every word that is written in the Bible, which also means that a man should not lay with another man.” Castiel sighed, quoting a teaching he was forced to recite to himself a lot when he was with his family. “Sarea knew I was attracted to men before I was even aware of it, myself. Gabriel found out with all his curiosity; we never planned to tell Zachariah though. He is like a second version of father, but it is like he holds a lead on all of us. I had to date some girls so that he wouldn’t suspect that the three of us were hiding something. But…” He paused, recalling the unpleasant memories. “But he found out, told my father and mother and would torment me everyday until I finally snapped. I told them if they would keep treating me like a disease, I’ll give them the cure and leave. My mother, Gabriel and Sarea were reluctant, but it was clear that Zachariah wanted me gone. He was influencing father to believe him too. This is what they gave me, an apartment and allowance to spend for food and necessities so that I’m able to survive on my own.”

 

Touched by Castiel’s background story, the arms which Dean wrapped around the male tightened as he kissed the back of his head. “Thank you for telling me.” With this information, he was able to know more about the man he loved. This was his past, so he’d have to find out what other things makes Castiel smile by making memories in the present moment. Cas felt at ease, deciding to melt into Winchester’s body heat, moving his hands so it were placed onto the arms which seemed as if they were protecting him. A small twitch irked at the corner of Novak’s mouth before succumbing into the clutches of tiredness and sleep. Cas was the first one to fall to sleep, Dean noticed as his breathing became ever so steady, no words were exchanges and the slow rise and fall of his chest. “I love you, Cas.” He murmured before he checked out for the night as well.

 

  

 

* * *

 

 

Waking up was unusual. The bed was warmer, more cramped but it did not feel uncomfortable, in fact, it was just as enjoyable. Those tightly wrapped arms loosened slightly, though they maintained in their position. Cas turned his body carefully, not wanting to wake the sleeping individual. Turning helped him to see Dean’s facial expressions whilst he slept. His brows were furrowed but the rest of his face was relaxed, maybe he was dreaming? Either way he looked handsome. They say, the first to wake up is the lucky one as they are the ones to get a glimpse of their partner’s face whilst they slept. Leaning in as he lingered his lips above Dean’s before pulling away. Prudently escaping the other’s movable hold, picking up his clothes which were on the floor and placed them in his laundry basket. He tried to step lightly, not wanting the floor beneath him to creak as he moved about. Grabbing new underwear and clothes from his drawers and closet, Cas exited the room, closing the door behind him. First stop was the bathroom. He needed to take a shower.

  

After task number one was completed, Castiel decided to make Dean breakfast. He couldn’t serve the other breakfast as he would feed himself, he wanted to make him a nice breakfast. Checking his kitchen for the supplies which he owned currently. He has flour, eggs, milk, syrup. Pancakes? That would sound something that Dean would like. As he made the pancakes, he would occasionally place at the clock in the living room. Today, his first class was at 8. 

 

**7:23 am.**

 

He’ll have time. Once finished, Cas prepared the table. Setting out the freshly made pancakes. He ate alone. He didn’t feel as if he had the right to wake the other up this early.

 

**7:36 am.**

 

By this time, Castiel was washing up the equipment he had used and his plate and mug before dashing back off to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Alright. Last thing was his phone and bag which was in his room. He creaked the door open, Dean was still asleep. Smiling as he saw the sight once again. Cas walked up to the sleeping human as he was about to kiss his forehead before he was dragged back down onto the bed. “Dean?!” He exclaimed quite loudly.

 

“Good morning baby, let’s go back to bed.”

 

“Hey, hey! Dean I have classes early today!”

 

“I can take you in the impala, just give me a few minutes.”

 

“No, you can stay in bed. I’ve made you pancakes and heated some water for you so that you can make coffee.”

 

“Cas you’re the only coffee I need to make me feel recharged.” Dean flirted as he squeezed his lover, his hair was slightly damp, meaning he has taken a shower earlier and he smells so, refreshing.

 

“How long were you awake?”

 

“Long enough to realise that I was hugging the air.” A giggle escaped Cas’ lips before he pecked Dean’s lips.

 

“I’ve got to go, Dean.”

 

“What’s the magic phrase?”

 

“Abrah cadabrah?”

 

Dean chortled as he shook his head, lowering his mouth so that he could whisper lowly into the other’s ear. “I love you, _Castiel_.” The tone in Winchester’s voice caused a small shiver to run up his spine, the seriousness of it and the use of his full name. 

 

“Well then, I love you too _Dean_.” Cas mocked the empathising tone on his name. “I’m serious, I have to go. I’ve also left a spare key on the table.” Though he was reluctant to do so, Dean released Novak as he watched him scurry around the room to gather his belongings. 

 

“Have a good day, Cas. I’ll pick you up after classes.”

 

“Love you, baby.” Cas winked before hurrying out of the apartment.


	9. Chapter 9

There are no words, for there are so many to describe love. It is intense, passionate and it feels like home. It was not hard, all you had to do was surrender yourself entirely to the person you’re committing the sweet crime with. Castiel fully surrendered himself to Dean Winchester, he was captivated by those emerald hues, the way he would hold him at night, the way he calls him ‘baby’, the meaningful sex they have and the way they would kiss. It was effortless. Being in love was elementary. Yet, Dean fell in love with the little things Cas were not aware he was doing. It was the certain things which made Cas, Cas. The way his nose will crinkle up when he was laughing because he would made the biggest smiles, his shyness, the way he dances and the way when the colour of his eyes.

 

“Hey Cas,” Dean said softly, lifting his attention from the movie in front of them to the window. The skies were grey and dark clouds loomed over the sun. It looked as if it was going to rain anytime soon, not just a shower of water droplets though, but a lot. The two were cuddled upon the sofa which was facing the television screen; Dean had an arm wrapped around his lover.

 

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel questioned, moving his gaze to Dean’s face. He wasn’t staring back. He followed the direction where he was looking at before moving back to Winchester. 

 

“Do you know why the skies are so grey today, Cas?”

 

“Because the weather forecast said it would be raining all week…” He answered quite obliviously than Dean was expecting.

 

“Incorrect.” Dean chuckled lightly, only to get Cas to furrow his brows to the centre in confusion. “It is because all of the shades of blue from the skies are in your eyes.” The puzzled expression Castiel was wearing a couple of moments ago dissolved, in fact, it caused the dark haired male bite his bottom lip as he tore the connection between their clashing green and cerulean hues. Cas looked down, in attempt to hide the creeping blush upon his cheeks. Damn, Dean always knew when to made his heart pound rapidly out of his chest. Winchester snickered, it was moments like this where he never felt so proud of himself. Whenever he makes Castiel blush, smile or laugh, Dean would consider that a mini achievement. 

 

Just as we cannot stop the tides from reaching the shore, the seasons and time cannot be slowed down either. For these two, their love story had started in Spring, bloomed in Summer, settled down by Autumn; now Winter is around the corner, the lovers begin to wonder if life could get any better than what they have.

 

Castiel coughed as he clenched his right hand over the material which clothed his stomach as he hunched over his desk. Damn the pain seemed to have gotten worse throughout the week. No matter what antibiotic or pain killer he took, it couldn't seem to numb the pain. 

 

"Novak, are you alright over there?" His professor called out, causing the entire classroom of people to advert their attention to himself.

 

"I'm alright, Sir." Cas assured with a half-assed smile which caused the lecturer to shake his head. 

 

"You don't look quite alright, Novak. You look as pale as a sheet. Go to the nurse's office." 

 

Reluctantly, Cas nodded as he sat up properly to pack up his notebooks and pens into his bag and slowly made it down the stairs which lead down from his seat. After he had left the room, he had heard that the professor has resumed what they were blabbing on about before spotting his condition. 

 

Never had he been to the nurse's office, so his head was swinging from the left and then to the right to find the name plate on the door which would say: 'Nurse's Office'. Obviously. Taking a few turns before he had actually found the door as he stood in front it for a few moments, raising a hand as he turned it in the air so that it was the back of his hand which would take the impact of gentle knocks. 

 

"Come in." A muffled voice came through the other side, it was gentle and a women's voice. Cas opened it as he was told and stepped inside, closing it afterwards. He his eyes couldn't help but wonder around the place, it was room he had never seen before and all the small details perked his interest. "What is your name?"

 

The dark haired cleared his throat before responding: "Castiel Novak." He stated as he sat down at the seat which faced opposite the nurse.

 

"Nice to meet you Castiel, I'm Tessa." To this, Cas gave a small smile which then caused the female to proceed. "Why did you come here today?”

 

"I.. Um.. I was reluctant to do so, but my professor insisted that I should pay a visit."

 

Tessa nodded her head as Cas noticed that she was writing the things he had said, on a small notepad with a pencil. "How are you feeling? Lightheaded? Feverish? Are you experiencing any pains?”

 

"Earlier, I have been having on and off abdominal pain. Like now, it's gone slightly and it feels better when I stand up and walk around than sit down.”

 

Tessa continued to nod, as if she was soaking all the information into her brain. "At lunch, did you eat anything? Sandwich, crisps?" As she listed some foods, Castiel shook his head from side to side softly.

 

"I didn't eat. I had lost my appetite…"

 

"Ah. From the sound of things, it seems that you have gastritis." Causing Castiel's head to tilt to the side slightly as Tessa chuckled at the cute expression of the other saying that he doesn't understand what that is. "It is the inflammation of the lining of the stomach. I would advise that you should go home for now. If you feel that your symptoms do not get any better by tomorrow, please stay at home and get some rest." Tessa turned to the next page of her notebook as she wrote down a number.

 

"This is the office number, please dial tomorrow before registration time and inform us that you are not able to come in." She smiled as she tore that page out carefully and handed it to the male.

 

"Thank you, Tessa." Cas returned the smile as he placed the piece of paper into his coat pocket.

 

"Get well soon, Castiel."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Trudging along the pavement at a sedate pace, Castiel’s mind focused on the gentle footsteps that seemed to echo thought the desolate street. Not many cars seemed to be passing by at this time of day, mainly because they were either at work or school - there was literally no in-between. He thought about calling Dean or texting him about his current situation but when he rethought about it, he wouldn’t want to distract him from work. Bobby seem to have him at the neck for always ditching the extra customers so that he would be able to pick him up after classes and drive him home. Cas didn’t was to interfere with the overtime Bobby has 'forced’ onto Dean. The right side of his mouth curled slightly upwards, practically snickering to himself. 'Serves the idiot right, he needed to be punished.’ Cas thought. Although he cannot stop his lover from his ways, Castiel was grateful that Bobby was there to keep him in the right as well. He took a deep breath, inhaling the chilly air of the month of November before exhaling to see his warm breath form into a mystical white cloud. He drug his hands further into each side of his trench coat pockets to keep them warm. 

 

It has been a while since Cas was able to actually walk to ‘ _his_ ’ - _well,_ now shared apartment with Dean Winchester. Everyday it was to school in the impala and home into the impala. HIs whole routine has altered dramatically but the dark haired male was not complaining. Dean has completely turned his world upside down - almost so literally that Castiel was sometimes afraid.

 

Before he knew it, Cas was standing outside the main apartment building. It took a second for him to come to fully snap out of his deep thoughts. From the right pocket, he pulled out his hand along with the keys. Inserting it into the keyhole and twisted it, hearing the classical sound of a door unlocking. Castiel had to open and close several doors before he would have reached his own. Before entering his apartment, he glanced over to the apartment besides his - supposedly it was still Dean’s, yet he still had some of his belongings in there but most of his stuff was already at his. So why don’t they just properly move in together? It has been around five months since they have become lovers, they practically had nothing else but each other. Shaking his head gently from side to side, erasing those thoughts as he stepped into his opened door, shutting it behind him. 

 

He placed his bag to the side before walking into his room to get changed into something more comfortable. Castiel still felt quite like shit. His abdomen ached like hell and the pain still did not go away from his last dose of pain killers. Novak decided to take a lay down in his bed, maybe a quick nap will ease the pain when he wakes up. He had taken his phone out of his trouser pocket and placed it on the nightstand before emerging himself into the soft duvets which smelt like Dean and himself. His heavy eyelids finally shut and allowed him to be captured by sleeps’ clutches.

 

Ring ring. Ring ring. 

 

Castiel groaned at the loud noisy sound and felt relief when it stopped; however it continued to ring endlessly. He stretched an arm out of the duvet towards the nightstand and grabbed ahold of the ringing and buzzing mobile phone. Sliding his hand along the bottom as he answered it groggily. “Hello?”

 

“Cas? Where are you?”

 

With this, Cas’ eyes shot open in realisation as he recognised the voice straight away. “Dean?! I thought you were working overtime?” He questioned.

 

“I have.” Dean replied, quite confused by the current situation.

 

“What time is it?” 

 

There was a small paused before Dean resumed; “Um.. It’s almost six o’clock. I believe that you were going to wait for me at the dance studio, even Sarea doesn’t know where you are.”

 

“Shit.” Castiel muttered lowly to himself, it was already this late? “I’m sorry baby, I went home earlier. The school nurse sent me home, apparently I have the symptoms of gastritis.”

 

“You’ve gone home? Sick?! Why didn’t you let me know?”

 

“I didn’t want you to worry and ditch work again for me.”

 

A small chuckle was hear from the other side of the line. “Castiel Novak, I’m always going to worry about you.” 

 

“Dean…” Cas said as he was touched by the other’s statement.

 

“Take your medicine, I’ll cook when I get home. I’ll be there asap. I love you, baby.” Dean had ended the call before Cas could return the greeting of his love for him, but then again, he did want to be here quickly. Castiel smiled slightly. Dean didn’t seem the type, but he was actually a very romantic man. His eyes still felt very heavy, his head was throbbing and somewhat the pain was still there. Cas ran his hands over his abdomen, it felt so sensitive, tender to touch. He then moved that hand to his head, feeling his own temperature. It felt hot, but then again that could be from the heat when he was under the covers. Surely, this would have settled down by now, unless his body had become resistant to the painkiller… If his condition doesn’t clear up by tomorrow, he’d have to go to the doctor’s. Whilst thinking so deeply about his sickness, Cas fell back to sleep.

 

Castiel’s eyes slowly fluttered open. HIs nose has caught the scent of food near him, and something felt damp on his forehead. He lazily moved a hand to grasp whatever was on him into view. A flannel? More over a slightly damp one.

 

“Finally awake?” Dean’s voice caused Cas to search the room for him, to find him settling down a bowl of food on the nightstand. 

 

“You should have waken me when you arrived.” Cas sighed, as he felt terrible that Dean has been working all day and had to cook his own food. Shuffling through the duvets, Cas tried to move himself against the headboard.

 

“Careful.” Dean instructed, “take it slow, there’s no rush.” He assured as he assisted the other. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. You’re the one with the fever and gas-whatever it os called.” Cas chuckled as he shook his head gently, though his mouth was in a shape of a small smile. Unexpectedly, Dean leaned in for a quick peck. 

 

“Dean!”

 

“What?” He replied as he pulled away.

 

“You could catch my illness!”

 

“Well, then, you could test out your doctor skills on me.” Dean smirked, giving Castiel a mischievous wink. Cas pushed his arm gently and playfully. 

 

“Assbutt.”

 

“Correction. _Your_ assbutt.” Dean chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed and brought forth the bowl of soup. Lifting the spoon which end was submerged in the substance near his lips. He formed his lips into an almost pouting position before blowing it for a moment and moved it toward’s Cas’ own lips. The dark haired male gave him a particular look. “C’mon Cas, open up.”

 

“Dean.”

 

“If you’re going to have it that way, then I suppose it’s time to use the secret technique.” Dean snickered before retracting the spoonful of soup, only to bring it back with hand arms movements which were meant to mimic an aeroplane. “Brrrr… here comes the aeroplane, clear the runway so it may land.” Dean instructed as Cas gave into this childish manor and opened his mouth. 

 

“This tastes delicious!” Cas stated, feeling the warm liquid trickle down his throat. Soup was such a complimenting food to the terrible cold weather.

 

“Thank you, I made it specially for you.” Dean smiled, seeing that his lover enjoyed his cooking. “When Sammy was younger, I would look after him like this whenever he would get sick. So please let me do the same for my boyfriend.” Dean mumbled on as he lean in towards Cas. Placing their foreheads together before rubbing their noses together affectionately. Cas responded by placing a hand on Dean’s jaw, his thumb caressing his cheek. “I love you, Cas.”

 

“I love you too, Dean.”

 

“I love you three.” With this, Cas suppressed a chuckle. 

 

“Always?” Cas questioned as he raised an eyebrow. 

 

“ _Always_.” 

 

Dean fed Cas the rest of his soup before giving him the correct medicine and a glass of water. Telling Cas it was okay and that he needed to continue his sleep or else he wouldn’t get better. Cas was always doing things for him and it was the least he could do. Once he had finished his mini errands, Dean stood in the doorway of their bedroom. Watching the rise and fall of the duvet due to Cas’ gentle breathing. After he had gain some satisfaction and relief that Cas’ condition was now stable, he then joined him. He cuddled up next to the other person, bringing Cas’ head towards his chest. Embracing him somewhat protectively. 

 

“I’ll be your Batman.” Dean murmured, feeling Castiel snuggle up to him more. Placing a small peck on his forehead before falling asleep also.


	10. Chapter 10

Something was shaking ever so gently against Dean. Almost as if Cas was shivering, this action continued until Dean finally woken from the violent shivering male. “Cas?” He called out as he slowly opened his eyelids. His eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room, despite it being ever so dark, he was still able to see the other beside him. Taking a hand as he placed it upon his forehead. _Shit_. His temperature has gone up again. Not only that but he was violently shaking. “Cas! Cas!” Dean raised his voice louder with each call, in attempt to wake the other up.

 

“D-Dean…” Cas mumbled meekly.

 

“Cas, baby, I’m driving you to the hospital.”

 

“Dean, n-no.” Castiel opposed as he took a shaking hand a grasped Dean’s arm weakly.

 

“I'm sorry but your condition seems to be getting worse.” Dean apologised as he got up from the bed, changing into his jeans and throwing a plaid shirt upon his plain t-shirt, placed his socks and shoes on before heading back for the dark haired male. He scooped him up bridal style. Noticing how much lighter he has gotten. He’s lost weight? Dean thought to himself before grabbing his set of keys from the kitchen counter, with Cas in his arms. He had made it all the way down to where the impala was parked. Placing Cas into the backseats, where he could lay down. 

 

Winchester then went to the driver’s side and started the muscle car. Right now the speed limit did not affect his mind. Cas would probably die from the violent shivering and it would be his fault for driving so slowly. Luckily, during the ungodly hours of the morning, not many cars were out and about to cause traffic which would normally last up to ten minutes during the day. Dean was weary of police which were on duty but just like the speed limitation, it was the least of his worries right now. He would glance into the mirror every once in a while to check up on the sick male. “Hang in there, baby…” Dean muttered lowly as he focused on getting to the hospital.

 

The journey was about thirteen minutes long. He parked hastily, got from his side to the passenger’s backseats and scooped him into his arms once more. Closing the impala one-handedly before rushing towards the automatic doors which opened when you got nearer to it and called for a nurse or a doctor - someone who can help them. As expected in a hospital, everything was quick. Help was quick, because a minute after, few people came rushing down with a transportable bed. Dean was able to follow until a nurse has turned and prevented him from entering the double doors which were only exclusive to staff. Dean huffed before sitting himself down upon the chairs which were placed against the wall. Placing his head back until it cannot go any further due to the wall. He had closed his eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply. 

 

A few minutes passed by, yet it felt forever waiting for news on Castiel. It must have been at least fifteen minutes before his attention was caught by the same nurse who stopped him from entering. She came to him with a clipboard which had some empty form attached to it. 

 

“May I ask what your relation is to the person?”

 

“I’m his fr-“ Dean halted, he couldn’t bring himself to say friend, because Cas was more than that to him. He swallowed his original line before changing it slightly. “I’m his partner.” He answered confidently, without any shame or any hesitation this time around.

 

The nurse only gently smiled as she wrote that down into one of the boxes. “What happened exactly to your partner?” She questioned.

 

“He got send home due to having symptoms of gastritis, I believe it was called. He took his medicines, and when I arrived home, his temperature was higher than normal. I placed a damp flannel on his forehead, fed him soup and told him to drink his medicines again. But then when we were sleeping he broke out into violent shivers and his temperature rose again.” Explaining each event into sections.

 

“Thank you.” The nurse stated as she wrote down what he wrote into bullet points. 

 

“How is he?” Dean questioned, his eyes meeting with the female’s which rose from the clipboard. 

 

“His temperature has now lowered but we would like to run some tests later on him. The doctor will be able to give you a full synopsis after the tests has taken place. You may leave and return later.”

 

Winchester shook his head. “I’m staying here.” 

 

She smiled, somewhat admiring his determination to stay by his lover’s side. “One more question. What is the patient’s name?”

 

“Castiel Novak.” Dean stated as the other wrote down the final piece of information before leaving Dean alone again. He was alone to his thoughts again. The almost empty ward. His hues scanned the area, most of them were asleep or half asleep - most likely in the same situation as him - with their loved one behind the doors which they were never meant to pass. It was such a depressing atmosphere. Hospitals, ugh, he hated them; yet it seemed as he was the most hospital-prone person out there. Sighing, he threw his head into his hands as his mind clouded over with the thought of Cas. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Unknowingly, Dean had fallen asleep upon the hospital seats. He shifted himself on the constricted surface area, snapping his eyes open when he felt the bottom half of his body hit the hospital cold floor. He stood up, preferring that he did not look like some idiot whose body was just dumped on the chairs, with half of it hanging off. Whilst he was standing, Dean did some stretches here and there before he sat down conventionally. The noise level of the hospital had gotten much louder than a four hours ago and more people and staff were out and about. Whilst his eyes were scanning the enlightened place by natural daylight, Dean searched for a clock- due to all the panic and rush this morning, he had left his phone at home.

  

**10:14 am**

  

It has almost been at least six hours since he has rushed Cas to this place and no word was received from the nurse who took their details in earlier. He then trailed his eyes towards the double doors which no one was suppose to cross, except staff. To his surprise, a person from the other side had pushed it open wearing a white lab coat and something much more formal than the other staff - this only meant one thing - that person is a doctor; but Dean knew not to keep his hopes up because that doctor could be attending to someone else in the crowd of people, turning away as he decided to watch some ‘real life drama’.

  

“Excuse me…”

  

At first, Dean ignored the call because he knew it wasn’t for him but then it called out again. “Excuse me, are you the partner of Castiel Novak, perhaps?” A soft voice questioned as Dean also felt a touch on his shoulder, causing him to turn around and answer. 

 

“Yes, yes I am.”

  

“Brilliant. I apologise for the late update, the nurse on duty reported to me that you fell asleep and I thought it would be better if you had gotten some sleep because you looked ever so tired.” Dean shook his head with a small smile, saying that it was okay.

 

“How is Cas? Is he okay?” 

 

“Castiel’s temperature has been monitored until it has lowered for good, he has also eaten something and is currently awake as of now.” The doctor smiled back, retreating his from Dean’s shoulder as the male stood up.

  

“Can you take me to him, doc?” Dean requested, only to get the doctor to gesture with his head the direction they were headed at, also meaning ‘follow me’. The two walked through the ever plain white hospital corridors, taking turns and some stairs. The emotions and auras were at different wavelengths, families could be heard weeping, or bursting into joy. Dean couldn’t help but sneak his eyes past doors which were opened or slightly closed. He would eavesdrop into family-friend conversations and information which were meant for closed doors, something not for passing by stranger that’f for sure.

 

Finally, the doctor stopped at a room. 23A. It also had the name 'Casiel Novak’, on the side of the door. “After you.” The doctor stated as they stepped out of the way, letting Dean do the honours of wrapping his hand around the door handle, apply some pressure and pushed it open. Inside was the dark haired male, who was sat up and staring outside the window, turning his head towards the sound of the opened door. 

  

“Dean!” Cas called out as he extended his arms, resulting that he couldn’t breathe a few seconds later due to Dean’s tight embrace. “Baby, too tight.” Castiel gasped as he was able to breath once the arms around him loosen slightly. 

 

“Baby, how are you? Is there pain anywhere?” Dean bombarded as he withdrew from the hug and placed the back of his hand on Cas’ forehead to feel his temperature. Relaxing since ehe felt that it was back to normal. 

  

“Dean, Dean, I’m okay.” Cas assured as he tried to snap the Winchester out of it by placing his hands on either side of his face and stared into those emerald hues. Seizing the opportunity, Dean placed his hands on top of Cas’ and kissed him in a way which their noses were smooched up together. They kept their lips locked for a few moments before pulling away, though Castiel kept their faces close. Leaning his forehead onto Dean’s and rubbed their noses against each other like last night.

 

“Cas, I was so fucking terrified.” Dean revealed as his thumbs caressed Cas’ hands beneath his. 

 

“Baby, I’m sorry I made you worry.” Cas apologised before a clear ‘ahem’ was heard from the doorway. The two retracted from each other as the doctor closed the door behind them before proceeding to approach the two in a more conversational distance. 

  

“I’m sorry for disrupting your reunion, but despite the good news, I am also the bearer of the bad news.” The doctor sighed, they didn’t really want to do this, specially since their moment was incredibly adorable- but a job was a job.

 

“If it’s about the hospital bill, doc. I’ll pay it, no worries.” Dean answered before the doctor could say anything else. Only to receive a shaking head from side to side from the health professional.

 

“I do wish that was the case, but that is not the news which I have for both go you today.” 

  

“Then what is it, doc?” Dean asked, furrowing his brows to the centre and this prolonging suspension game was beginning to irritate him.

 

“Castiel, I bring you sad news that you are diagnosed with Stage Two Pancreatic Cancer.”

  

Dean’s face was the first one to drop ever so solemnly. “You’ve got to be kidding, right? Run the tests again! Cas can’t have cancer!”

 

“Trust me, I run tests twice to see if it is indeed correct and I’m sorry son, but the results are still the same.”

 

The dark haired male placed a hand on his lover’s shoulder, silently meaning without words: to calm down. “Doctor, why weren’t I able to notice some symptoms like this during the first stage?”

 

"Pancreatic cancer doesn't usually give rise to any symptoms or signs in the early stages. This is the main reason why it can be so difficult to detect and diagnose. As the cancer grows the symptoms it causes will depend on the type of pancreatic cancer and where it is in the pancreas. Any symptoms people do have can be quite vague and may come and go at first. An example is abdominal pain, which may start off as occasional discomfort before becoming more painful and more frequent. Which you have been experiencing, am I right?”

 

Cas nodded his head in agreement as Dean stayed silent. It was clearly visible that he was biting the insides of his cheeks. “Cas _will_ get better _right, doc_? The treatments _will_ work right?” Dean asked but it turned out to be more of a threatening tone of assurance. 

 

“Castiel's cancer has been discovered early, due to his outbreak of his high fever. He is on the verge of it being on stage two and of course the likelihood is that your lover will get better.”

 

“What are the treatments that I will have to have, doctor?” Cas queried.

 

“The first procedure would be surgery; to have the cancerous cell removed. Though, the operation is long and complicated, we will need to have you tested to see if you are fit enough. After surgery, I would recommend chemotherapy. The sessions would last around six months. Chemo will help to lower the risk of the cancer coming back.” The doctor handed the test results to Castiel in a brown file for him to flick through. Once both Dean and Cas has looked at it, the doctor took it back and apologetically said; “We will have to wait until you are back to health from this current sickness and then we will run the tests to see if you are able to go through surgery. Surgery will then be performed soon afterwards. If that is it, please excuse me. Anymore questions, feel free to find me or ask any staff.” With that, the doctor took their leave, closing the door behind themselves again, to give the two the privacy they need.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As the doctor left, the room was also left in a state where the mood was heavy and dark. Silence dawned over the two as they both were left to contemplate. Dean made the first move by taking his hand, placing it on Cas and slid it off his shoulder- only to replace it with his own fingers intertwining with his lover’s, doing the same with the other hand. Dean them brought both of Cas’ hands to his lips and kissed the back of them. Castiel looked lovingly towards the affectionate action. “Dean…” He murmured.

 

“Cas, promise me something.”

 

“Yes, baby?”

 

“Fight this disease, don’t let it get the better of you because you’re stronger than it baby.”

 

Castiel nodded before responding, “Of course I will. I will fight it and I will fight for you. And for us.” He assured, trailing off slightly and then resumed as he felt that he had to add something. “As long as you’ll stay by me…”

 

“I’ll will stand by you, Castiel Novak.”

 

“Always?”

 

“ _Always_.” Dean brought himself to smile slightly as he looked up into those beautiful hues. 

 

“Just follow my lead.” The two males said simultaneously and chuckled slightly. “Your dance saying has grown on me, Cas.” Dean snickered, untangling his fingers from Cas’ left hand to fix the other’s misplaced hair and tucked it somewhat successfully behind his ear.

 

“Well your terrible ‘Deanamator’ moves also affects me.” Cas fired back, sticking his tongue out childishly as Dean denied that his moves were awful but in fact legendary. 

 

“Just always keep fighting."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are going through something, please always remember to Always Keep Fighting (AKF), Love Yourself First (LYF) because You Are Not Alone (YANA). <3 Thank you for those who have read up to this far, ily all. :)


	11. Chapter 11

The words “Castiel, I bring you sad news that you are diagnosed with pancreatic cancer” hit Dean more than the dark haired male, because they both knew that Cas was diagnosed with a disease which seemed to be rapidly taking a vast amount of peoples’ lives than actual human beings taking one another’s. The word ‘cancer’ was not new to both of them. Articles and news reports have been frequently updating the world of new various types of the disease and treatments - although there still hasn’t been an official antidote that has been found yet. The only real medicine was either surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy or several amount of drugs with will power to live. After the doctor revealed the news, Dean brought Sarea (accompanied by Gabriel) to the hospital once telling her on the phone that he had to rush their younger brother the night before. Winchester felt that it was only right if it were Castiel to tell his own family about his situation. 

 

Sarea’s reaction was almost the same as Dean’s. She sat there blankly before asking Cas to repeat him. Shaking her head in disproval, some sort of denial state. Shedding a few tears as she clung onto her little brother and told him to keep strong. Whilst the two had their moment, Gabriel brought Dean outside the room to have their own little conversation. 

 

“Thank you for bringing him, I hope this wasn’t troublesome?” Gabriel started, with Dean’s silent response; a shaking of his head from right to left. 

 

“Anything for Cas, isn’t troublesome at all.”

  

Although Gabriel was older than the other, Dean was taller than Gabriel which made it more awkward than it had to be. The elder male with longer hair placed a hand on Dean’s right shoulder. “You love him, don’t you?”

 

“Very much, Gabriel.”

 

“Good.” It was some sort of reassurance that Gabriel was doing, to make sure that Castiel was in the right hands. “You won’t leave him, will you? Specially when he needs you the most.”

 

“The thought never even crossed my mind.”

 

Gabriel smirked, perking his interest in the boy slightly. “You’d make a great brother-in-law.” Watching some sort of pink tinge creep onto Dean’s cheeks. He gave Dean’s shoulder a pat before withdrawing his hand back to his side. “Don’t worry about the expenses. We’ve got you covered.”

 

“But what about Zachariah?” Dean questioned as Gabriel sighed. 

 

“Castiel has told you about him, hm? Don’t worry about him, I’ll promise that he won’t cause you any trouble. You’re a good kid, Dean. Now Sarea and me can stop worrying about him so much because we know he’s with you.”

 

That was the last thing Gabriel said before exiting their small chat and back into the room where he had to practically peel off his sister from the patient. “Lil bro, don’t worry about school, I’ll be the one who’ll explain it to the principle and your professors.” She said as Gabriel took ahold of her by the arm and pulled her because she had classes to go to. “We’ll visit again!” Sarea exclaimed, from the doorway as Gabriel seemed to be dragging her out. Dean only chuckled at the commotion that the two cause - especially Sarea, man, she was like the sister he never wanted.

 

 

* * *

 

  

Once Cas has fully recovered from his high fever, the doctor from the night before had ran several tests once more before deeming him fit to undergo the operation, but had to wait for a scheduled operation date. Despite Castiel being ‘fully recovered’ from his fever, he now showed some symptoms of the disease. He was starting to feel nauseous, his palms and soles of his feet were itching and was turning a pale shade of yellow in his face but not (as yet) on the rest of his body. During the course of several days, the two became more friendly with their doctor, getting more familiar as they would be seeing him usually. The doctor’s name was, Tran. Dr. Kevin Tran. They both felt blessed that this man ended up in their hands as he was a skilled individual who knew his stuff and genuinely cared about getting Novak back to full health. 

 

Dean kept pressing Dr. Tran to get a quicker operation but it was not possible. Kevin would happily give Cas surgery right there and right now, but he could not let personal relations affect his job. He had to keep it professional. Dr. Tran suggested to have a stent fitted into Castiel’s bile duct to open it up and allow it to operate properly again.

 

Fortunately, all went well and the stent was fitted and a biopsy was taken. They would then have to wait another 2 weeks for the results and to have an EU endoscopy as well. Castiel was told that the jaundice (yellowing of the skin) would slowly fade in about 2 weeks and the nausea and dark urine would begin to go. However, no-one told him that he could experience pain and discomfort after the fitting of the stent and after a day Cas had dreadful abdominal pain that radiated around his back. After another stay overnight at the hospital, the dark haired male felt better and was discharged with liquid morphine to take if needed. A few more days and the jaundice was fading. It started to fade from the feet first and then up his body to his face and then his eyes. 

 

When Cas looked at himself at the mirror in the bathroom back at the apartment, he felt slightly disgusted at his appearance. Lifting some of his shirt to expose his belly which was getting back to its original colour. Dean noticed that the other was taking his time in the bathroom. The sound of the shower did not seem to be on, or did any sound of relieving urine. “Cas?” Winchester called out, taking off his jacket and placed it over the sofa before heading towards the room. He knocked before entering. “Baby?” He said somewhat questionably as he peeked to see his lover standing in front of the mirror and was in some deep thought. “Do you feel sick? Are you hurt anywhere? Should I get you, your morphine?”

 

“Dean.” Cas answered simply in a lower voice than usual as he lowered the piece of clothing to cover the exposed skin and looked at Dean through the mirror.

 

“Yes baby?”  

 

“Do I look like a freak?” He asked, his eyes carrying a hint of sadness when he said that.

  

A quiet suppressed laugh as Dean came closer, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s waist, the dark male watching this actions which were reflected in the piece of glass. Winchester did the same, his lips forming into a small smile before turning to give a peck on Cas’ temple. “Dean…” Castiel furrowed his brows, not liking that his question was not yet answered.

 

“Castiel, Cas, baby. What ever made you think that you look like a freak?”

 

“Its just- this disease, I’m a horrible colour…” 

  

Dean hushed Castiel from stating further down list. “Mr. Novak, have I failed to remind you that you are the most beautiful human being that I have ever set eyes on?” 

  

“You’re just saying that…” With this, Dean shook his head and attack Castiel with millions of kisses as Cas winced as he tried to stop the other from his kisses. “D-Dean!” He somewhat chuckled as the slightly taller male stopped.

 

“Cas, look in the mirror.” Dean instructed as their eyes met there. “Right in front of me is the two most amazing miracles that has ever happened to me.”

 

“Two?” Cas queried, failing to see what Dean was seeing. 

 

“Yes two.” Dean smiled as he placed his chin to rest on the other’s shoulder and leaned his head against his lover’s. “You are the first miracle.” Dean pointed out before carrying onto the second point. “The second is you with me. To have you in my arms.” Cas leaned his head towards Dean’s in response. Seriously this man, he always manages to bring him up when he is down. 

 

“I love you Dean.”

 

“I love you more, Cas.” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**November, 15th**

 

Two weeks later (it was now mid-November), the two returned to the hospital and had an EU Endoscopy. This procedure is done to stage the tumour and see whether there is any lymph node invasion. Cas' tumour had grown slightly and two lymph nodes appeared affected but the tumour was still within the head of the pancreas. Dr. Tran explained all this to both of them and said that there is a slot free next week. Whilst Cas and Dean was anxious at such a massive operation it was an answer to prayer that it was operable asap.

 

**November, 22nd**

 

It was a prodigious operation and the duration was around 9.5 hours. Dean was there for the whole time, Sarea and Gabriel were in and out. Spending an hour or so before dashing off somewhere. After school was done, Sarea was there for the rest of the remaining time and Gabriel was also able to excuse himself from work to be there with Dean so he was not alone. An unexpected guest also showed up - it was Sammy, in his hands were also food for everyone. 

 

“How’d you find out, Sammy?” Dean questioned as he received a tight hug from his brother. 

 

“I heard from Bobby.” He answered before releasing his embrace with Dean to greet Sarea and Gabriel. 

  

Sarea smirked as she dragged Gabriel at a distance from the Winchester brothers. “Is he your type?” Sniggering as Gabriel hit her playfully.

 

“Shut up, Sarea. We’re here for Cas.”

 

“Cas already has a love life though, shouldn’t you concentrate on yours?” 

 

 “Sarea…” He said lowly.

 

“Guess I hit the spot, well, looks like I’d have to play Cupid again~” She grinned before skipping happily back to the two.

 

“Sarea!” Gabriel almost growled following after, his eyes were concentrated on Sarea he did not notice that he was going to run into Sam. Feeling himself bump into something muscular, looking up to see who it was, stepping back until he almost fell backwards. Feeling a strong hold on his arm and next thing he knew, his face was squished against the taller Winchester’s chest. This moose doesn’t know his own strength! He thought as he pulled away and recomposed himself and thanked him for preventing his fall. Sarea giggled as she looked away from Gabriel’s dangerous glare.

  

A while later, Kevin had walked out and declared that it was a succesful surgery. Explaining: “Castiel has lost part of his stomach, his upper bowel, gall bladder, part of his bile duct and part of his pancreas. It was a tricky operation as the tumour was now borderline and next to a main artery and I had to cut that to free it. This means that the patient has lost a lot of blood. He would need to stay in the high dependency unit for while before transferring into a normal ward.” 

  

Cas came home weak and exhausted and was still in a lot of pain but he had Dean with him and he never has left his side. He was determined to get back to normal and also did push himself as he wanted to get back to his level of fitness he had before. 

  

**December, 20th**

  

After 4 weeks, Cas walked into the Dr. Tran’s office looking fit and well, much better than before. “Castiel, I’m amazed at your recovery.” He said, discussing the Histology results whereby he was classed as an R2 which meant the tumour was borderline resectable and an L1 which meant 2 lymph nodes out of 16 removed were affected. The 2 that were affected were local to the tumour. There was no vascular invasion so that meant a V0 result. “I had removed all of the tumour and the 2 lymph nodes, but I do suggest that you have a course of adjuvant chemotherapy as a belt and braces.”

 

The dark haired male was not happy, although it was recommended by the doctor. He sighed as he agreed, he needed to tell Dean as soon as he got back home from work. Exiting the hospital, breathing in the cool air, feeling it full his lungs before exhaling it once more. Christmas was just around the corner and he wanted to give Dean something special for always being by his side. Cas decided to do a little walking and Christmas shopping since he was free to go wherever he wanted because it was school holidays.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't very interesting and too much information about the treatments and all that. Hopefully, I made it up to you guys by writing the mirror scene and the short Sabriel moment ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**December 25th, Christmas Morning**

 

Castiel woke up as he heard repetitive shutter noises of a camera, opening his eyes to see that the first thing he saw was Dean taking photos of him. It took a moment for him to fully acknowledge as to what was happening around him. “Good morning, baby.” Dean greeted happily, as he positioned himself next to Castiel and took a picture of them together.

 

“It’s so early, Dean, what’s with all of this?” Cas questioned as he turned to face the other way, covering his face with the duvet.

 

“'What’s with all of this?’” Dean quoted, as he used his strength to pull the barrier that hid Cas’ beautiful face. “Cas, it’s Christmas!” The dark haired male only groaned as he felt the somewhat cold room temperature attack on his exposed freshly body warmth.

 

Winchester was excited to spend this Christmas. He finally had someone to spend a holiday with. He was not alone this time, there could be no holding back, he wanted to make the most out of it. Dean leaned over the other and placed a peck on his cheek. “Baby, I made breakfast. Get up or else it will get cold.” He ordered, putting the camera down, walking to the side which Cas was facing and helped the other out of bed. “Come on, up you get.” He mumbled as he scooped him up. Feeling hands wrap around his neck quickly.

 

“Dean! This isn’t necessary!” Cas exclaimed.

 

“It is, to get you up.” Dean chuckled, pretending to lose his balance, causing Cas to hold on tighter.

 

“You’re such an assbutt!” Cas scolded as he furrowed his brows and looked at him angrily. Dean moved as he pecked the area in the middle of his brows. Feeling the tensed muscle loosen. The male pulled away to see a much more relaxed facial expression.

 

“Let’s go, prince.” Dean smiled, switching from their room into the main area, where their table just for two awaited for them. He placed Castiel down onto the already pulled out chair, pushing it in for him once he was settled. Joining him as he sat down opposite to the other. Cas took a moment to inhale the sweet, savoury aroma which surrounded him- the smell of the freshly brewed coffee accompanied by a familiar scent. Sniffing around the plates of food, it was the soup! The same soup Dean had fed to him when he was sick. His stomach clenched with hunger at the sight and smell of this selection in front of him. Castle’s face lit up. A complete transformation than the newly woken up and slightly grumpy male from before. 

 

“Baby, you didn’t have to cook all of this…” Cas smiled warmly, as he was touched- not that he ever was, but Dean always knew how get his heart to beat rapidly and make the butterflies in his stomach flutter. “Something simple would be enough, yet you did all this.”

 

“Cas, baby. I did this because I wanted to, okay? It’s Christmas and I’m spending it with the one I love the most. I know you’ve been through hell, but you’re my baby now and I want the rest to be smooth ride, with the occasional bumps and turns but-“

 

“Dean, that sounds like a proposal to me.” Cas snickered which Dean responded with a shrugging of shoulders. 

 

“Wait here, Cas.” Dean said, excusing himself from the small table and walked into their room and walked back out with the camera he had earlier, in his hands.

 

“I actually thought you went to go and get the ring.” The dark haired male teased causing Dean to pull a face, before the two broke out into laughter. “You’ve been taking photos ever since I was asleep, why?” He asked, picking up the spoon on the right hand side of the bowl and dipped it into the substance. Just as he was going to put the spoonful in his mouth, Cas heard a shutter sound. Looking up to see Dean had taken another photo of him. “Dean.”

 

“After you got cancer, I realised how short time is. I wanted to capture every moment with you and fill the apartment walls with our photos.” Dean smiled. 

  

Cas thought about it and nodded, agreeing that it was actually a very good and cute idea. “Dean sit down and pass me the camera.” He instructed as he watched the other move back to his seat and handed him the gadget. 

 

“I guess it’s confiscated for now?” Dean chortled before sighing and began to tuck into his own food. When he wasn’t looking, the noise of the familiar shutter of the camera tuned. Causing him to slowly look in the direction in front of him, to find his lover snickering mischievously. 

 

“I finally got you back.” Cas huffed proudly.

 

“This is war, Castiel.” Dean declared in a jokingly serious tone.

 

The two spent the entire morning trying to capture the other off guard and take a picture. Until they both became physically tired of chasing each other, they sat down on the sofa. Dean’s arm around Cas as the dark haired male laid his head on his shoulder.

 

“Hey, Cas. I still have one more surprise for you.” Dean breathed as Castiel rose his head so that he was able to look at his boyfriend.

 

“Another one?” He questioned, not quite believing it. 

 

“Yes, this one is my real Christmas present to you.” 

 

“Well, what is it?” Cas asked, there was nothing in his hand since the only thing in his arms were himself.

  

“We’re going out for an adventure. Wrap up warm.” Dean said before removing his arm around Castiel but intertwined their fingers and pulled him towards their room, in order to get changed from their home clothes into something much more warmer for outside.

 

  

* * *

 

 

The streets looked like an unfinished painting. So much of the canvas was still perfectly white, as if waiting for the artists hand to return. Whilst they drove down the road, the impala's icy tracks which has been imprinted on the road, were erased by an onslaught of fresh white snow. The way which Cas would have memorised by now has been completely altered. The white pristine blanket made almost everything look the same. It was absolutely beautiful.

 

It wasn’t as a long drive as Castiel believe it would be, but considering that they have stopped in a white wonderland, it was not near the city at all. He eye squinted as it hit him. It was the meadow! The luscious green land has turned into a winter paradise. As always, Dean led the way to their famous spot. Under the big old oak tree in the middle of the shallow ditch. The branches hang low with the weight of the snow. The sky is also clear now, a perfect uninterrupted blue. It's odd to think that the grass underneath the snow, surviving as best it can until the spring melt, entombed in the compacted and icy layers lower down. Dean made it so that they were in a very cliché position. Where they were facing each other with the tree just on the side of them.

  

“Dean? What’s with all of this?” 

 

“I wanted to give you my Christmas gift to where I first confessed and where you rejected me.” He chuckled when Cas rolled his eyes playfully.

 

“I’ve regretted pushing you away that time, okay?”

 

“I’m not here to overlook at the faults of the past but for our future.” Dean moved topics, reaching a hand into his left pocket and pulled out a small black box with a simple red ribbon around it and knotted in the middle. Handing it to Cas who gracefully opened his gift. Opening to find a beautiful silver ring. 

 

“Dean…” God was he only joking about the ring earlier and yet here is one, right in his hands. He chuckled as he analysed the box and the ring, somewhat finding it more funny each time he thought about it.

 

“What’s funny, baby?” Dean furrowed his eyebrows cutely in confusion. To have it explained with Cas pulling out a similar sized box from his right pocket. It was basically vice vera. HIs box was red box with a black ribbon. Handing it to Dean, watching Winchester open it rapidly, his actions slowed down when he saw the content of it. It was the same ring. It was moment of pure silence before Dean started laughing, taking Castiel’s ring and his left hand as he inserted the metal jewellery onto his ring finger. “With this promise ring, I promise that I will forever stay by your side. I will continue to love you even after death. Through our hardships, and problems, I promise we’ll overcome them all.”

 

It was Cas’ turn. Pinching the ring from Dean’s box and took his hand and did the same. “For me, I promise with this ring that I will do my one hundred and one percent to support you in our hardships and problems. That I will love you until my very last breath and I will never leave you alone. I promise that I will keep all these promises.” Dean took Castiel’s hand which contained the ring on and kissed the back of his hand before kissing the ring on his finger.

 

“I guess we really do know each other very well.” Dean smiled, snaking one arm around the dark haired male’s waist, pulling him closer and used the other hand to tilt the other’s chin slightly before he leaned in to kiss him. He was able to take a couple of pictures of themselves in the snow-covered meadow, some were cute couple photos and solo ones, the others were blurred due to their snowball fight.

 

  

* * *

 

  

Once the two were done playing in the snow, they made their way back to the impala but did not set off instantly. Somewhat, the two fell into the clutches of lust. The next thing they knew was that they were both at the back seats, undressing each other whilst their tongues danced together, exploring each other’s mouths. Remembering what it was like to kiss so deeply. When they both pulled away to gasp for air, Dean halted; “Cas, shouldn’t we do this at home?”

 

“I can’t wait, Dean. _I’ve waited_ long enough, I’ve made _you_ wait long enough.” Castiel stated. Knowing that Winchester may have been somewhat sexually frustrated ever since he got the disease. He has never complained at least once, but he must have felt it. “I want you now.” 

 

Well shit, when you say it like that Cas… Dean thought to himself as he resumed, happy with the answer he got. Finally, he had gotten to this boyfriend’s last layer of clothing, exposing the porcelain skin. As always, he worked from the top to bottom. Starting a trail of butterfly kisses from the crook of the individual’s neck to his abdomen. Stopping as he gently grazed his fingertips over where they had operated and then stitched him back up. Cas noticed this affectionate action, his lips curling upwards feeling a kiss at that area. He felt Dean’s love through his actions, how much he loved and cared for him even when he felt insecure about his self-image. Whilst continuing to undress his lover, Dean often took a split second to also lose the amount of clothing he had put on. It was cold and the only source of warmth was Castiel. 

  

Now that they were both fully naked, Cas asked if he could switch positions with Dean so that he was now the one on top. “Dean, relax and enjoy.” He smiled before grasping his member, wrapping his fingers around it and brought his mouth. Widening the gap of his lips as he engulfed half of Dean’s cock at first, hearing a small grunt from his partner. Cas pulled his head back, but did not take his mouth away from the tip of his staff. He then slid back down, this time deep throating the whole hardened member. He continued this action, hearing the other trying to suppress his moans of pleasure. Castiel pulled away for a moment, whispering lowly, “Baby, you don’t need to hold back. No one can hear us.” With that, he went back to Dean’s staff, but just as he was about do another deep throating action, he felt his mouth fill with this salty thick substance which he swallowed. Excess semen had trickled down the side of his lips, which the dark haired male licked seductively. 

 

“Sorry, I didn’t warn you.” Dean apologised which Cas shook his head to.

 

“It’s fine, baby. I like the taste.” A light pink somewhat turned into a darker shade had stained Winchester’s cheeks. The way Cas would speak dirty to him was completely arousing. Dean felt the other angled his cock so he could start to sit down on it. The head slipped between the rim of his entrance and went inside Castiel. He stopped there for just a second.

 

“God, baby you’re _so_ tight.” Dean moaned as his cock was squeezed and pressurised by Cas’ walls. Novak then slowly lowered himself on Dean's hard shaft. He breathed heavily trying to relax himself when he felt that the member was in all the way. “Are you okay, baby?” He asked, concerned for his lover. Castiel nodded and placed his hands on the other’s shoulders. He was more hunched over than he would have liked, but he couldn’t help it due to the impala’s low roof. A couple of moments later, Cas rose himself before lowering himself again. He continued this slow repetition, feeling more comfortable with each movement. Dean watched his lover enjoy himself bouncing on his shaft, despite the pleasure from his lower half, he was more aroused at Cas’ moans and the way he looked. 

 

“ _Fuck_ Dean, you’re so _big_.” He panted slightly tired from doing the all the work himself. Feeling that the other started thrusting deeply into him, hitting his pleasurable spots. “Fuck! Right there! Hit that spot again!” Cas ordered. Dean held onto Castiel’s sides as the two simultaneously moved. They were both sweating and the windows of the car fogged up.

 

Dean rolled themselves over gently and carefully. “My turn, _baby_.” He somewhat growled sexually. Thrusting harder and faster than they first started, the base of his cock slamming against Novak’s ass. “God, I’m going to cum.” He warned, bringing one hand to pump Cas’ unattended member. 

 

“Let’s come together.” Cas breathed in between his pants, and all too soon felt the explosion of warmth inside him with his own load splurging onto their bare chests. Cas altered their positions once again so that Dean was able to lay down on the car seats whilst he laid on top of Dean. “That was just as amazing as the first time.” 

 

“Any type of sex with you is amazing, baby.” Dean chuckled as he placed a kiss on Cas’ forehead. “I can’t wait to propose to you and marry you.”

 

“Dean don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

 

“Just you wait, Castiel Novak. I _am_ going to marry you. _Just you wait_.” Dean determinedly threatened, wrapping his arms around his lover. They were both just as tired and decided to spend the night in the impala, in their winter wonderland with their clothes to keep them warm. 

 

**This was a Christmas to remember for sure.**

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
